I HATE people who dont understand computers

(while working at tech support today)

Me: How can I help you today, maam?

Client: Is e-mail internet?

Me: I beg your pardon?

Client: Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?

Me: Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.

Client: Oh, dear. I cant see my e-mail.

Me: Well, lets see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?

Client: Open what?

Me: Your browser, can you open up your browser?

Client: Mymy?

Me: What you click on when you want to browse the internet?

Client: I dont use anything, I just turn my computer on, and its there.

Me: Okay. Do you see the little blue e icon on your desktop?

Client: You mean I have to start writing letters again?

Me: Imwhat, Im sorry?

Client: I dont have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.

Me: No, maam, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue e on your computer screen for me?

Client: Oh, this is too much work. Im too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Cant you send me my e-mail?

Me: Weokay, maam. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?

Client: My what?

Me: The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - its most likely near your computer?

Client: Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.

Me: My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what youre seeing on your computer screen?

Client: Its been the same thing for the last two hours.

Me: An error message?

Client: No, just stars. Its black and moving stars.

Me: Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?

Client: Yes.

Me: Move it for me.

Client: Move it?

Me: Yes. Move it.

Client: My e-mail!

Fuck these people and their money they spend on amazing shit that they have no idea how to use.

Uploaded 05/08/2011
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