I only hate special occasions on special occasions.

You know what day it is?  Valentines! Which means it's also time for me to write my special occasion hate speech.  I shouldn't really call it a hate speech, because unlike Christmas, I love Valentines! 
If it wasn't for Valentines Day I wouldn't have recently learned that a Canadian company, called Ganong Bros. Ltd, made the very first chocolate (nut) bar!   Before we thought of that all chocolate bars were just bars of chocolate that were divided up into measurable portions for chefs to use.  They didn't have caramel and nuts and stuff in there, which is boring.   Ganong Bros. Ltd also came up with the heart shaped box.  Cool eh? 

Despite how much more that makes me proud to be Canadian, it's not the main reason I like Valentines Day.   I like Valentines Day because it's one of few, mainstream, religious holidays that I do not feel the least bit of pressure to participate in.  It's a celebration between couples, and very rarely do families get together to celebrate it.   Since my husband and I have never been motivated by a date on a calendar, especially one with religious significance, to do anything more for each other, Valentines is just another day for us, and has been for the 5 years we've been together.  

I have nothing against people who do participate, but I don't think that it should be an obligation.  And girls, please don't deny it.  Once upon a time I thought it was shitty for my bf or whatever to not buy me something on Valentines.  A lack of gift to brag to my friends about meant a lack of consideration for my feelings and/or social life.  For him to forget something like that was enough to question the very meaning of our relationship.  Holy fuck was I ever ignorant, and hypocritical.  Eventually I started thinking for myself, instead of following shit that didn't make sense, and I got over the materialistic bullshit real quick. 

First off, material objects of any quality or quantity cannot ever be used to accurately measure an amount of "love" someone has for someone else.  Now there are some gold-diggers, and even multiple and entire cultures that would flat out disagree with that, but that's because they don't marry for love, they marry as more of a career choice.  There are women, especially in the Middle East who wed in order to avoid social retaliation and a life of suffering.  For example, if your mother is a prostitute, you're likely to be pimped out by a family member too, and as will your daughters, cycling through many generations.  It's a social class where the only way out is either suicide or marriage.  There are also women who, instead of pursuing employment, will pursuit a provider.  Taking on traditional gender roles, by keeping up the home, caring for children, while her husband provides financially.   If that arrangement is mutually accepted, and both parties fill as though the other is providing the services they need, I can understand why "love" is more a bonus, than a requirement.  Although I don't think it's fair that either gender should feel that pressure from their culture, I know that many of mine, and you ancestors have found conformity and even refuge in these social structures, resulting in much of what we know, and even our many of our lives.  However, it's not right to associate love in all of these circumstances, therefore making it wrong to associate materialism and love with one another. 

Another thing I don't like about Valentines is the depressed feeling single people get on this day.  Although I do feel sorry for those who long for someone, or are somehow involuntarily alone, again a date on a calendar, especially with a religious significance, should not put emphasis on that. Unfortunately we're programmed to give a shit about Valentines day early on in life.  Who doesn't remember making Valentines day mailboxes that we taped to the front of our desks?  All that ever was, was a shitty arts and crafts project and a popularity contest.  I don't know why the education system supported this activity because there was always that poor little kid that nobody liked, for absolutely no reason.  He or she always got the fewest cards, and they knew it.  Instead of love, they felt left out, and I'm sure that there are still a few adults who remember how sad it was to be that kid. 
   You loners like to think about what all of the happy couples are doing together today.  Stop it.  If you've ever been in a relationship during this time, you'll know that's it's not all what single people make it out to be.  Most couples spend at least some part of the day anticipating an argument.  The girl is most likely running through the worst case scenarios through her mind.  It goes something like this.... "He's going to forget, because I didn't want to look greedy by reminding him.  He probably doesn't think I want something.  But if he does get me something, he's going to expect to get laid - he's an asshole.  Thinks I can just be bought with flowers and chocolate, that will probably make me fat.  He better get me chocolate though, because if he doesn't that means he thinks I'm fat, and that chocolate will only make me fatter. We didn't make any reservations to go out for dinner... didn't even ask me where I want to go, so we're probably not going anywhere... unless it's a surprise.... omg he's going to propose!  He better propose, we've been dating for like 10 years and 3 months for fuck's sake.  Why is he so afraid of commitment? "  And that's when she's not PMSing.  The guy is all like "Fuck, I forgot, she's going to fucking kill me.  Dave's an asshole, cause he's going to propose to Kelly, and Kelly is going to tell her, and she's going to get jealous, cause she hates Kelly, so then we'll have to get married.... fuck.  I wonder if it's too late to make a dinner reservation?  If I ask her where she wants to eat, she'll know I forgot. I'm doomed.  This Valentines shit is stupid - I better get laid tonight.  If I don't, I'll have to wait until my b-day to get any.  Why do we only have sex on special occasions?  And even then it's like a chore to her... but yet she gets mad if I watch porn. That's bullshit! I wish I were single. "

So yeah, if watching a happy couple's public display of affection isn't enough for you to feel sorry for yourself, Valentines Day sure as hell shouldn't.   While you're listening to what society tells you what "you should", why not listen to a perfectly happy person tell you what you should?  That happy person is me by the way.  And I'm telling you that you shouldn't worry about it, and definitely shouldn't force it, no matter if you're single or in a relationship.  Cause you know what they say,
Love is like a fart - if you have to force it, it's probably shit.  

Either way, I wish everyone a happy, and skid-mart free Valentines Day!  

Uploaded 02/14/2013
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