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I will not take these things for granted

   For the past six weeks my close friend at school has been coming to terms with her mother passing away. The cancer had become so advanced that during her most recent check-up the doctors discovered how rampant this shit had taken her over. She was in the hospital for the first two weeks because her lungs kept filling up with fluid, as did her stomach. I'll leave out the real depressing details since I'm sure all of us have been affected by this at one point or another in our lives.

   Her kidneys started to fail, and eventually she was given the "quality of life" speech by her doctor, and then he'd scheduled her to meet with the hospice nurse that would stay with her in her home through her last days.

   I'd been giving support to my friend all along. She held up very well during the course of events. Even though she'd leave after the quiz first thing at the beginning of class to go be with her mother, she still showed up. I don't know if I'd be able to do that. I think she's gotten used to it over the years. She'd come to accept it as part of her life.
   Barb's mother went home last Thursday and lay in bed, doped up on God only knows what while Barb and her aunt sat beside her. Talking about the good times in life from the birthday parties, Christmas get-together's, Thanksgiving's with the entire family, etc. The conversation would always turn to the future, and how Barb would get along without her mother in her life. Barb's only 27. None of us should lose our parents at such a young age.

   Last night as I lay in bed I thought about Barb and her mother. Then my thoughts turned to one of my close friends since elementary school, and how I remember her mother's funeral back in February of 2005. Her passing ripped a big hole in that family. She left a husband, three sons and her daughter, my friend, Aimee. Aimee has always been one of the strongest people I've ever known. Aside from sorta running over a kid by accident the summer of that same year (actually it was the kids fault. He sped into traffic on his bike while she was at a complete stop making a turn- he had only two scratches on him), I've never seen her cry. She's one of those people you really don't know what to do when they cry because it's so damn rare to see it. You're in shock at the sight in a sense. Aimee still hurts and still misses her mother a lot.

   Barb is more fragile than Aimee. I can only imagine what will happen when she realizes that her mom is gone, and never coming back. When I finally attempted to fall asleep at almost 3am, my phone lit up. It was a text message from Barb, and I could only see the first few words of the message in my inbox, but I knew what it was going to say. Just one minute after midnight on Nov. 24th, her mother passed away from cancer. Thankfully she was so doped up that comfort wasn't an issue. More importantly, she had her daughter and her sister by her bedside when it finally came to an end. Cancer claimed yet another victim; it always happens to the best of 'em.

   I put the phone back down and thought to myself I'd give her a ring the next day. Then I thought about my mother and all the ups and downs we've had together- growing closer, then farther apart, only to find one another again and vow to keep it that way. I laid there and thought about how my life would be without my mother in it. Have I told her that I love her enough? Have I apologized for all the dumb shit I've done in my time? Have I called her enough just to say "Hi?" Have I gone to see her when time away from school and work allowed for me to do so?

   All I know is that I'd have been a wreck well before Aimee was, and I could not put up the strong front that Barb has been able to pull off. I feel for them and anyone else who has lost a parent to cancer or whatever the case may be, and decided I will not take these things for granted, even if I had thought I wasn't before.
   It's funny in a sick, morbid and twisted way how death can shed the proverbial light on things.

   Anyway, this was just a thought I had last night. Nothing special, and more than likely you'd found it boring- oh well. Feel free to comment however you feel necessary, if at all.

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