If Ebaums were a bar.... Part 2



In this latest visit to the EbW (pronouned, Eb-Dub) we will discuss the bar itself.


Staff and Upkeep


This establishment, like any other, has it's stable full of folks who keep it running.



This might not make much sense without reading part 1:




First of all, we constantly need fresh material to put up on the plasma screens.  The patrons bring with them media:  I.E. videos, pictures, written jokes, and flyers for other bars.  They go to the depository (bathroom) and drop off their content.


Most people don't know this, but this bar is like the Titty Twister in the original Dusk Till Dawn.  It looks normal size from the front, but it contains a vast underground of warehouse space that holds tons and tons of media.  Most of it is duplicate and you can find many versions of anything submitted.  Patrons should take a trip into the warehouse before they squeeze out what they think is an addition to the pile, but they rarely do.  They want to sit, shit, and git. So we end up with a ginormous stock of the same crap.


There are warehouse employees who filter through this shit to try and find things to put on the TVs in the Lobby.  There are called "The Content Department".  They find things that they feel are worthy to be put on the screens, and give credit to the patron who laid the deuce.


Next we have those who look after the bars internal workings.  The most mentionable of these would be Jennie.  Or CreepingJennie to most folks.  Her main area is the Lounge.  She is above me on the totem pole, and I respect her authority.  She is considered an "Assistant Manager" of ebaums.  She creeps throughout the lounge, unseen most of the time, and strikes down with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to destroy her section of the bar with their bullshit blogs and erep whoring copypasta shit sandwiches.  We all love her... She is the one who pulled me out of the lobby, and made me work the bar.

The other assistant managers take care of the rest of the bar.  Security (Comments and harassment), Accounting and upkeep (staff) and deliveries (Content Department, uploads).  The Content department has since inducted the help of the newest assistant managers to help with the warehouse work.


Along with CreepingJennie, Blanknot, and Catgarvin are also oldschool Assistant Managers.


Some of the newest assistant managers are as follows:











Then there are the Managers, who are higher up on the food chain, and mostly unavailable to the public who patronize this place. 








And obviously, the owner of the bar is ebaum, who only pops in for a drink every now and then, staying in the shadows, as not to draw attention.


We have our share of problems also.  Sometimes the plasma TV's break and the content will just not show up.  Leaving the lobby with nothing to watch, though that doesn't slow down the chatter and the browbeatings.  In anything, it gives more fuel to the fire of negativity.


Occasionally, a staff member will shove something onto the monitors that they and only they thought was featurable, and that brings an immediate uprising of opinions from the entire bar.


Sometimes the heating unit breaks, and people are forced to bundle up when they come in to hang out.  They are so bundled up, you can no longer see their faces, thus leaving them "blank" to the naked eye.  This can go on for weeks at a time.


On our next visit, we will discuss the different sections of this place and who you might find there.


Keep drinkin.....

Uploaded 01/05/2009
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