If I ruled the World!

If I ever came to power I would change a few things. Here is my list in no particular order:

·         Duck Faces in all pictures are here by banned! Anyone doing the Duck Face will be sent an elite commando team called the Duck Squad. The Duck Squad will show up when the perp is in a very public place. They will use a set of pliers to hold the perps lips in the Duck Face position and then use a curling iron between said lips to brand them. Duck Face fixed.

·         All petty driving rules will be enforced with an iron fist. For example: If you are caught slowing down for no reason and then make a turn without a blinker your car will be thrown into a crusher. If there is someone behind you when you are slowing down to turn without a blinker and they utter the phrase What the fuck is this guy doing? you will be left in the car when it is placed in afore mentioned crusher.  Another example: If you are caught not going AT LEAST the speed limit while there are people behind you who have places to be and shit to do your car will be impounded and you will be issued a bus pass.

·         If anyone in a position of power in a church spews hate speech against ANY group that church will lose the right to call itself a church. It is now considered a club and any hate speech will be ignored.

·         Pepsi and Coke, will by law, be served in the same restaurants, movie theaters, sports stadiums, and anywhere else one or the other WAS previously sold.

·         No wars on the planet can be waged until all diseases are eliminated. All money used to wage war will be spent on research.  Cancer will be the first disease eliminated.

·         All convicted pedophiles will be shot in the head. No need to worry if they are within 100 yards of a child, no parole, no ankle bracelet, no need to register where you go or live. BANG! Youre dead.

·         People who abuse animals cannot come within 100 yards of an animal, will be placed on lifetime parole, will need to wear an ankle bracelet and register where they go and live.

·         Tax breaks will be given to people who buy large SUVs. Fuck global warming. The planet made it 4 billion years. Nothing we do short of all out nuclear war will scratch it. Even then in a few hundred thousand years it will reset. Just like an Etch-A-Sketch.

Uploaded 11/01/2010
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