Never, in all my 26 years, have I ever been to a buffet before. The whole idea kind of grosses me out. I mean, how many people are washing their hands before touching all the tongs and forks? Disgusting.

Anyway, stance aside, tomorrow evening I'll be dining for the first time at ever at a chinese food buffet. (King's Buffet, if you've ever heard of it. I'm not sure if you Americans have some there yet.) I've heard good things about the food and better things about the trough-style serve-yourself set-up. I figured it would be fun to try...plus I have a few days off work to recover from any weird disease I may contract from eating there...so off we go for supper tomorrow.

My question is this: what is proper buffet etiquette? Do you wait in a line, do you just go for the gusto and grab whatever? Do you need to re-use the same plate over and over again? Are drinks included in the price? Do you tip?(It seems futile if I'm the one doing all the walking and serving.) Is it really "all you can eat", or do you get limited to a number of dishes only?

Stupid questions, yes, but I've never been to one of these before and don't want to make a bad impression of the future in-laws. The whole idea of eating food that some dirty asscake might have touched kind of makes me want to call it off...but the siren call of unlimited vegetable pork and lo mein keeps calling.

Suggestions? What's good to try? What's good to avoid? Really, should I tip at this place or what?? Any input would be much appreciated.

Thanks for reading. I'll update you tomorrow as to how bad the diarrhea was.

Cheers,

- The Big Bad