I'm sick and tired of Internet Philanthropists
The_Bourbonator
Published
04/25/2012
I was drunk and bored at 4am, so I decided to scour facebook and youtube to pass some time in another long night (morning, I guess) of insomnia. I have noticed, some pathetic phenomenon of internet empathy; people blogging, vlogging, messaging their concern about whatever catastrophe is trendy. I'd have no problem with this, if I didn't see the participants of this "event" everyday; coming to my work, and going to my school. Self absorbed shits with an undeserved sense of superiority. You know the type; white kid with lawyer parents, living in a gated community and getting a free trip to college...wearing a Che Guevara shirt. Countless things I read and saw just set me off to no end, so I just typed an angry, pessimistic, drunken rant. Figured I'd put it up here. I go to a weird, dark place during nights like this. The drinking probably aint helping any, but whatever, here ya go. This rant doesn't apply to everybody, just the pricks that seem to crowd areas of "free thought".
Welcome to the age of information, communication and revelation; the verdict is in, and we are alarmingly full of shit. The modus operandi of the human race as a hole is as painfully transparent as it is pathetic. All those pieces of shit thumbing up "movements" and ranting and raving with eyes full of tears about whatever catastrophe is trendy... The majority of them don't give a flying fuck through a bird's cunt about what is "tearing their souls apart".
They are not informed, they don't bother to be informed, they are not emotionally invested, they don't care; they just want you, and everybody else to THINK they care. They drive gas guzzling SUV's, but "THE ONLY REASON WE'RE IN THE MIDDLEEAST IS FOR OIL MAAAAN!". They pump their gas at Arco but, "FUCK BP MANNNN!". They throw away their money (and other people's money) on diamonds, VALUELESS pieces of compressed carbon picked by poor, starving Africans, but "WE HAVE TO SAVE THE POOR AFRICAN KIDS!". "OH OH, AH AH, MONKEY LIKE THE SHINEY ROCK! I LOVE YOU FOR BUYING MONKEY THE SHINEY ROCK! MONKEY SUCK YOUR DICK NOW. MONKEY MAKE MORE DISGUSTING MONKEY BABIES FOR YOU!" Akuna Matada, the circle of life. They eat at MCDonalds, then march on wallstreet, ranting and raving about how corporations are destroying small businesses.
They do not think, their feelings are feigned, exagerated, nebulous, illogical, or all of the above. They do not care, they just want you to think they care. They want you to know that they, THEY, are the sword of righteouness in this dark and cruel world! They are UNIQUE! They all have unique friends too; friends who dress the same way they do, listen to the same music they do, eat the same things they do, wear the same things they do, read the same things they do, think the same way they do... oh who's kidding, you wouldn't understand, you aren't unique and special like them. They, and only they, are the thing keeping this whole system from turning into some dystopian nightmare! And for you to even QUESTION their intent, well, that just makes you another "cog" in the "MAN'S MACHINE!".
Well guess what, you stupid pigs, you are the man. You are the machine that gives all the people you supposedly hate all the money, all the support, all the fervent willingness to trade individualism and free thought for shallow feeling of belonging to pander to your laughably frail egos, all the goodies and gadgets to calm your nerves, all the manufactured heroes, all the blind pleasure; all they need to subjugate you, and you fucking love it. Don't think, just feel; just feel good, and everything will be ok. "MONKEY FEEL GOOD ABOUT ITSELF". The evil cock sucker peals you yet another banana, all the while positioning his dick to fuck you in your bloody, numb asshole. If we were created in God's image, then God is weak.
Am I any better? Most likely not. Though I know that I'm full of shit. I know that I'm stupid; but I'm juuuust smart enough to look the lie of it all and laugh fucking my ass off. We should just cut the bullshit and nuke ourselves already. Give ourselves a couple moments of reality for once before we all get turned into dust. A couple moments, a couple minutes, a couple hours, maybe even a couple days of true reality. Find out whether you're brave or a coward. Find out whether you truly love somebody or not. Find out if your ideologies are honest. Find out if you truly care about others and not just yourself. Find out if you're a liar or not. Find out if you have any regrets. Find out if your life meant anything. Find out if you're ready to die (you won't be).
....Well...that's my drunk, creepy, pessimistic rant of the day, haha.
Welcome to the age of information, communication and revelation; the verdict is in, and we are alarmingly full of shit. The modus operandi of the human race as a hole is as painfully transparent as it is pathetic. All those pieces of shit thumbing up "movements" and ranting and raving with eyes full of tears about whatever catastrophe is trendy... The majority of them don't give a flying fuck through a bird's cunt about what is "tearing their souls apart".
They are not informed, they don't bother to be informed, they are not emotionally invested, they don't care; they just want you, and everybody else to THINK they care. They drive gas guzzling SUV's, but "THE ONLY REASON WE'RE IN THE MIDDLEEAST IS FOR OIL MAAAAN!". They pump their gas at Arco but, "FUCK BP MANNNN!". They throw away their money (and other people's money) on diamonds, VALUELESS pieces of compressed carbon picked by poor, starving Africans, but "WE HAVE TO SAVE THE POOR AFRICAN KIDS!". "OH OH, AH AH, MONKEY LIKE THE SHINEY ROCK! I LOVE YOU FOR BUYING MONKEY THE SHINEY ROCK! MONKEY SUCK YOUR DICK NOW. MONKEY MAKE MORE DISGUSTING MONKEY BABIES FOR YOU!" Akuna Matada, the circle of life. They eat at MCDonalds, then march on wallstreet, ranting and raving about how corporations are destroying small businesses.
They do not think, their feelings are feigned, exagerated, nebulous, illogical, or all of the above. They do not care, they just want you to think they care. They want you to know that they, THEY, are the sword of righteouness in this dark and cruel world! They are UNIQUE! They all have unique friends too; friends who dress the same way they do, listen to the same music they do, eat the same things they do, wear the same things they do, read the same things they do, think the same way they do... oh who's kidding, you wouldn't understand, you aren't unique and special like them. They, and only they, are the thing keeping this whole system from turning into some dystopian nightmare! And for you to even QUESTION their intent, well, that just makes you another "cog" in the "MAN'S MACHINE!".
Well guess what, you stupid pigs, you are the man. You are the machine that gives all the people you supposedly hate all the money, all the support, all the fervent willingness to trade individualism and free thought for shallow feeling of belonging to pander to your laughably frail egos, all the goodies and gadgets to calm your nerves, all the manufactured heroes, all the blind pleasure; all they need to subjugate you, and you fucking love it. Don't think, just feel; just feel good, and everything will be ok. "MONKEY FEEL GOOD ABOUT ITSELF". The evil cock sucker peals you yet another banana, all the while positioning his dick to fuck you in your bloody, numb asshole. If we were created in God's image, then God is weak.
Am I any better? Most likely not. Though I know that I'm full of shit. I know that I'm stupid; but I'm juuuust smart enough to look the lie of it all and laugh fucking my ass off. We should just cut the bullshit and nuke ourselves already. Give ourselves a couple moments of reality for once before we all get turned into dust. A couple moments, a couple minutes, a couple hours, maybe even a couple days of true reality. Find out whether you're brave or a coward. Find out whether you truly love somebody or not. Find out if your ideologies are honest. Find out if you truly care about others and not just yourself. Find out if you're a liar or not. Find out if you have any regrets. Find out if your life meant anything. Find out if you're ready to die (you won't be).
....Well...that's my drunk, creepy, pessimistic rant of the day, haha.
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