No...I'm not what you may call a traditional "bad boy". Occasionally though I do some dumb ass, fucked up, stupid shit! We all do at some point in our lives, just some of us go to jail for it while others don't. I've only been incarcerated once prior to this latest jaunt although I have been "cuffed" many times. :)

In short, what happened was drinking too much. Drinking is something I rarely do anymore but apparently when I do it things go south FAST! I made a complete ass of myself, was obnoxious and downright belligerent. The following is a first person telling of what transpired during my 36 hours behind bars... 

I was arrested at 2am on a Sunday night for "allegedly" :) fighting. I don't remember anything that happened for several hours that evening...honestly. I was thrown into an isolation cell to sober up for six hours before I was thrown into general population. At 8am I joined the other miscreants who were spending anywhere from a few days to several months there. There is no possible way in hell I can describe my hangover to you but know that it lasted ALL of fucking (Being hungover while in jail = NOT FUN) Where I was being held only holds court once a week...ONCE A FUCKING WEEK PEOPLE!!! Thankfully it's held every Tuesday. Not having much of a record I was 90% sure of my release on that day. Knowing I had a day and a half I settled down to make the best of it. (What else could I do?) :) I was one of 20 guys being held. My two cellmates had just been transferred from prison and were being processed out. One served a year, the other five years. I knew I didn't have to worry about these guys at all, they were on their best behavior wanting nothing more than freedom. Of the other 18 five were waiting to GO to prison with sentences ranging from 6 months to 2 years. These guys were the ones not to fuck with, the type who don't care at all. The other 13 were regular idiots like myself with a small sprinkling of tweeker meth-heads. 

All of Monday was spent learning who to associate with and who not to. All with the worst hangover of my life. I watched tv and played cards. Lock down happens at 10pm. Nothing to do then but sleep. Tuesday started at 8am. The hangover now gone, was soon replaced with a mind shattering caffeine headache. I drink lots of coffee every day. To my dismay I was not served a hot meal in I was given a cinnamon roll, half a cup of rice krispies with a spoonful of milk, an apple and a miniature bran muffin. I noticed that the 4 guys from another cell were drinking coffee. They were guys that were there for several months. In order to get 2tsp of instant coffee it cost me an apple and 2 oatmeal cookies I saved from lunch the day before. It was absolutely THE WORST cup of coffee of my life and I take my coffee seriously enough to have blogged about it in the past. No hazelnut creamer, no sugar and quite cold and chewy. The meals served were laughable at best. I have a very high metabolism, I MUST ingest 3,500+ calories a day. If I had to stay for a week I would have easily lost 5-6 pounds. Not cool...not cool at all! Court started at 1pm Tuesday and I was second to last. I was released (obviously) with my butthole intact (bonus) with a pending court date next month. I will keep you all informed whether or not you want me too. Keep your nose clean people, don't do stupid shit and end up in jail :)

Detained Deunan
Uploaded 04/18/2013
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