IPod Panties

Wow. Is there any stupid iPod-related idea that companies WON'T do?

Panties with an iPod pocket? Why? Were women ASKING for this? "Ugh, I'm so tired of holding my iPod in my vagina. If only I had somewhere else to put it..."

This is a product that will be used by exactly 0 women. Because...

1 - When girls are dancing around to music in sexy underwear it is because they are acting in a movie or because I am drooling in my sleep again.

2 - Even if a girl WANTED to listen to music while rubbing one out... she's not rubbing one out while wearing sexy panties because she would ruin them.

3 - When girls get excited "down there"...

NOTE: "down there" is the medical term for a woman's hoo-ha.

NOTE: Hoo-ha is the medical term for a woman's Fun Dip.

... they get wet. And so the battery powered iPod might electrocute her. UNLESS...

they make the iPod out of vibrator-material. Now THAT would be a good idea! The iPod iVibe.



Imagine the late-night infomercial for this product!

ANNOUNCER GUY: Ladies, does the buzz of your vibrator distract you from the task in your hands?

Well, worry no more! Because the iPod iVibe is not only a female pleasure device but it's also an MP3 player! Rock out with your (plastic) cock out!

Listen to music with the included headphones while your fingers do the dancing!

And best of all, as you increase the vibrating speed, the iPod iVibe selects faster songs!

And if you order NOW, you'll get these appropriate oldies songs for free!

1 - Simon and Garfunkel: "Feelin' Groovy"

2 - The Beach Boys: "Good Vibrations"

3 - Sam and Dave: "Hold on, I'm Coming"

And that's not all! Babies love music, too! With your order you get this gift... the 1st diaper with a special pocket for your baby's iPod! Introducing the iPood!

And it's pre-loaded with appropriate songs such as...

1 - Eminem: "Rock Bottom"

2 - Domino: "Sweet Potato Pie"

3 - Coldplay: "Yellow"

Also makes a great gift for Grandpa.

iPod Panties. What a genius idea! For record companies! Because now they have an excuse to strip search women accused of illegally downloading songs!

Man, if they had iPod Underwear for boys when I was a kid, I would've got in so much trouble!

My Mom: Why is your hand in your pants?! Me: Um, I was just shuffling. My Mom: Aaaaaah! Me: You dont understand! Its my iPod! My Mom: What's that? Me: (Sigh) Its like, this small white thing... My Mom: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!! Yeah, iPod underwear for guys is a bad idea. Because soon you toolboxes will come up pick-up lines like...

DORK TO GIRL IN BAR: So baby, you want to see "the iPod" in my underwear? I promise you it's not a "Nano."  

Yeah, there's a reason they didn't make iPod underwear for guys. Because us guys ALREADY have musical sounds coming out of our underwear... especially after eating Taco Bell.

Uploaded 01/18/2009
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