Japanese Lessons for A Weaboo

Now, I love Asian culture. I'm probably as close to insane weabo as one can get, even though I hate the term. I believe the Japanese should rule the world, for fuck's sake. But, like the unfortunate icky resentment and disdain you feel when a complete dick claims to love something you do, you gotta understand how this kind of thing would turn my stomach. It's already sucky when you get these fat, white college kids talking about DBZ sub vids, that have the combined IQ of a grape nut, but at least you understand they're fat, white college kids that can't help but give a bad name to a great media and culture. It's another phenomena entirely when you get one that exploits it temporarily in the name of e-whoring.

I'd personally like to envision all Japanese (with a good mix of Chinese and about 20% of Koreans) as more sophisticated, intellectual, accomplished, and, well, just plain better. Which is why I breathe easy knowing the Loaf can only dream - no Asian can possibly be so pathetic, stupid, and lame. Even retarded Asians, if you've ever known one, are the quiet type, who'll shit their pants but never get violent.  Which is what brings me to the hub of our lesson.

Sad, fake Asian Neko got pissed when confronted with a correction on his latest persona's "native" language. Naturally unable to resist, his fingers flew across the keyboard, albeit a bit desperately, and we got this gem:

Thos of us who actually know Japanese
and know how to type it, know it's
spelled 'ohayou'. Google it, fag.

Unfortunate for you, since I DO know Japanese.  Your first lesson, weaboo:

It's "ohayoo", not "ohayou".

The reason for this is cuz in a word like ohayoo, the "o" sound has to be held slightly longer, which is why in romaji (the system of learning and conveying the Japanese language using western letters), the vowel is doubled in the first place. In fact, the doubling of the vowel is the critical part in learning such words, lest you say something with a totally different meaning. For instance, a romaji "ou" is equivalent to the "oo" sound in English, which would result in improper pronunciation. Even first-week students would know this, since "ohayoo gozaimasu" is one of the first phrases you learn.

Googling it may result in multiple misspellings, thanks to the likes of sad little weabos like yourself trying to self-teach something you can't grasp on your own, and obviously haven't. If you had even an elementary-level, poorly-paid teachers or Professors from Okinawa, Tokyo, or Chiba to teach you properly, you'd understand all this and more.

And anyway, ohayoo is an A.M. term, something you greet people with before lunch, kind of like the English "good morning" - and sounds really weird when you use it at improper times, like when you posted your blog at two hours after midnight, which would be around 2:00 in Australia, China, and 1:00 in Japan, meaning Konnichiwa would be the appropriate greeting if you wanted to avoid weird looks and at least sound authentic.

Tbh, "good morning" would only make sense at such an hour if you lived in Botswana. Or Nigeria... Jesus H. Fuckin' Christ, you're a scam artist, aren't ya?? We're gonna have to hold our stars AND bank accounts from now on.


Yes, and that's a final flush. I'm going to consider this the plumbing siphoning the last of the tiny turds that are your bullshit rantings down the toilet, because it's futile to beat a long-dead horse, and quite frankly, I'm actually getting bored with whipping your ass so hard - I'm starting to really feel plain sorry for you now - and I'd like to think of myself as a nice person.

Future lessons may arrive as you continue to fuck yourself over, but only if someone brings it to my attention, since you're too huge of a fail to garner mine after all your shit tonight alone.

Now get out of my presence.

Uploaded 06/21/2011
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