It was just a normal Saturday night. It was just me and three penguins. Sanchez, Victor, and Pablo. We were all heading out to the fish store for a night of eating. It was the end of finals, and we could get as full of fish as we wanted without fear of getting diarreah. That, and Saturdays are fish nights, and God knows, fish a blast when you're drunk.

Just a normal Saturday night. It was snowing like a bastard for some reason, and Victor just "wasn't comfortable" with riding us to the bar. Just a normal Saturday night, where other penguins refused to let us ride them. So what do we do?

We called our usual dealer. 

His name was Hernando, and this penguin is the man. The last time he dealed, Sanchez had crapped all over himself, his furry fur, Victor's stuff, his flippers, and stuff. Leroy's reaction was simply, "Well shit I'l eat it." Normally, we were supposed to eat it ourselves, but Hernando liked it.
This is how awesome Hernando is.

So as we were standing there waiting for our food, three seals, all decked out in seal stuff, came up and waited next to us. There it was after an hour of waiting in the cold, Leroy was coming! We got ready and the seals took stopped him
Our penguinfucking dealer, Hernando

"Hey, That's our motherfucking shit, motherfuckers!" I squealed.
"Eat some ice, fag!" One of the seals yelled.
"Outta trunk, seals. I know these penguins." Hernando grinned.

Needless to say, the seals weren't pleased. As we penguin walked past them, burping, the unthinkable happened. One of them tried eating Pablo. My reaction was immediate. I brought my beak straight into that bastard's ear with all the force my 10 INCH beak could muster. I felt a flipper connect with my flipper and I fell over and couldnt get up

 Blow after blow landed, and before I knew it, the three seals had surrounded me and began to growl. Where the hell was Sanchez!?

All of a sudden, God as my witness, one of the three seals simply disappeared. One moment, he was standing over me growling like a pissed off seal and flipper my flipper, and the next he was gone. Something had the other two seals attentions.

"Holy SHIT!!" I heard a seal screech. I looked around, and there was the missing seal all ripped up and shit. Hernano transformed into some crazy shark . The seal threw a wild flipper swing and Hernando fucking ate him. While the other two were watching, I snapped up and brought my beak up under the seal's flipper. He took a few steps back and was ready to come growl on me, when Hernando fucking ate another seal

I could hear the growling dissapear. The third seal tried to run, but Hernando grabbed the seal's flipper and fucking ripped him up.

Me and Hernando stood over our fallen or a few moments. Then, the surviving seal had the nerve to speak.

"OH FUCK YAH MAN!?" He whined. "All we wanted was some fuckin fish'"

And before he could finish his sentence, he got fucking eaten too.

"Your mother." Was all Hernando had to say.


What bothered me wasn't so much that I got my ass flippered by hungry seals. It was the fact that our fish dealer could transform into a shark and fucking eat everyone.

It was just a normal Saturday night....