Knocked Up

God, I hate that term. Knocked up. Seems so trampy.

So here's the latest news from muah. A couple of months ago my boyfriend and I got engaged. We decided to wait on announcing it until we got better paying jobs (well...I haven't worked in four months, but I'm finishing up school) and then we'd tell the families, friends, etc. Plans of when? No, we haven't decided yet, but there's no hurry.

Most of you know that a while back I collapsed at my shitty job and had all these random problems since. Up until a month ago I was better. I had something wrong with my bladder and kidneys that the retarded doctors couldn't pinpoint, but I ended up healing just fine over time.

A few weeks ago, I thought I was going to be on the rag (yeah yeah, all you immature guys, go ahead and get all grossed out). I had the usual cramps, sore breasts, bloating, and I started getting moody. The cramps didn't go away after a while. Not normal cramps like females usually get, but random short, minor ones. Suddenly some of my bras weren't fitting anymore. Not to mention, I was peeing constantly. I thought maybe (MAYBE) it was my bladder. I decided to take a pregnancy test that I left over at my sister's house. I woke up at 5:00am one morning while babysitting (I babysit my twin nephews every weekday so I stay over at my sister's almost every day) and sure enough, it came out positive. I guess I was in denial the whole time, which I should've checked sooner. I thought that maybe it just wasn't right. You know those shitty name brand pregnancy tests they sell? It was one of those, so I didn't think it was too accurate.

When I got home, my fiance and I went to the store and got a couple Clearblues (the digital ones that strictly says "pregnant" or "not pregnant") and took those. Sure enough, yep, pregnant.

The next day, I told my parents about the engagement part, but I knew I didn't have much time to get away from announcing my pregnancy. I've always been a petite girl, so I'd be fucked. I was too much of a pansy to tell them for the first few days, but I finally did yesterday. I thought they'd kill me but they seemed really happy. They know I'm actually a softy and love kids. I've dealt with my twin nephews (who both have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy) since day one.

Got my first morning sickness yesterday. Ugh, not fun.

The one thing I'm really worried about...if anyone knows much about Muscular Dystrophy, my sister ended up being a carrier, which means I might be. Scary shit. It's painful to watch a small child (well in my case, two small children) everyday struggling to walk, their brains deteriorating, knowing they'll be gone in about 10 more years.

Fuck, now I'm getting depressed. But on a more positive note, I'm started to get a little excited. Which is weird because I always dreaded at the thought of becoming pregnant.

Uploaded 04/17/2010
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