Kobe Bryant Leaps Building in a Single Bound



It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…Kobe Bryant? Kobe Bryant just can’t seem to keep himself out of the spotlight. Whether he is on the court, or in the courtroom, his roller coaster life has won him championships and even a shiny new NBA’s Most Valuable Player award. However, these awards apparently mean very little to the superstar, who is now taking his superhuman abilities off the court as well and is quickly becoming an internet sensation.

To kick things off, Kobe wanted to give viewers a taste of what he could do. Obviously, you don’t want to go straight for the dessert at the dinner table, so he decided to keep it slow with the appetizers. What emerged was the insanely popular Youtube video which features Kobe effortlessly leaping over a speeding vehicle. Sure, a split second mistake could have cost Kobe his legs, or even his life, but this man of steel stared down his opposition with cold determination and made it look as simple as dunking a basketball.

But who can honestly stop themselves after just an appetizer? If anything, it leaves you hungry for more. Kobe decided to up the ante for the main course, pairing himself with the popular group from the “Jackass” television show and movies. Known for their ridiculous, and often painful, stunts, Kobe wanted to show those Jackasses how things are done. Complete with a large pool of deadly black mamba snakes set in front of a basketball rim, the stage was set for Kobe’s entrée, or his main course.

While the other Jackass members lived up to their name, leaping into the pool and screaming like whiny little girls when they were bit, Kobe watched and waited, biding his time to make his appearance. When his turn arrived, he grabbed his basketball and took off towards the pool of snakes. His leap was legendary as he elegantly glided over the pool, finishing things off with a massive dunk. Yes, it was a spectacle to behold, but Kobe was just getting warmed up.

Secretly, on the 28th of May, 2008, Kobe slipped away to New York City on his down day between playoff games. Posting up on E 34th St, Kobe took a few calm breaths and dribbles, acting as if this was just another free throw shot. Before him stood the nearly 1,500 feet tall Empire State Building in all of its glory. But that glory was about to be stolen.

After waiting for a crowd of nearly 10,000 to form in the streets around him, all wondering what this superstar was doing on the streets of New York dressed in a superman outfit, complete with the blue tights and red boots, Kobe was ready. He took off, rushing towards the massive structure. With perfect timing, he leaped and soared high into the air, quickly climbing at hundreds of feet per second. The crowed gaped in awe as Kobe neared the top…closer…and closer…and as quickly as he had reached it, he arched over it and began his descent. He finished his impressive feat with a gentle ballerina-like tiptoe landing. Some might have called it showing off.

“It was amazing…It was like watching Jesus walking water, if I had actually seen that,” One observer noted. Another commented, “Oh my God, take me Kobe! Take me now!”

For the thousands in attendance, this was truly a spectacle to behold. Kobe Bryant really upped the ante with his display today, and already copycats are attempting to recreate the event. Sadly, none of those have ended well thus far.

Uploaded 06/02/2008
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