so as some of you know, i own an escort agency. not 'escort' as in hooker, but 'escort' as in i send private dancers to peoples houses, hotel rooms, bachelor parties, fetish calls, etc. ive been in the industry for 8 years now and in that time, ive seen some seriously twisted shit. i work in the la area so as you can imagine, i run into some seriously oddball shit from tranny hookers, to celebrities with all kinds of kinky fetishes. awhile back, i started sharing some of the more 'interesting' experiences in the blog section. some are insanely hilarious, some are sexually twisted gender-bender freakshows. tonite i'll share one of the funny ones with you.
a few years back i used to work as security for another escort agency. i was decently good at my job and came into high demand with many of the dancers. one dancer in particular weasled her way into having me as her own personal security. now she was an amazon of a woman at nearly 6 foot with natural g size titties. she actually looks alot like that pornstar gianna michaels. one night, we got sent to a show by the beach in a frat house. on the drive there, she was in a particularly bitchy mood and over the course of the 45 min drive, manageed to seriously piss me off. so instead of risking my job by leaving her there,or threatening to choke her out with her own gstring, i decided id take my vengeance in a more creative way.
the frat guys decided that instead of a group show, they wanted to do small, individual shows with the girl instead. so first up was the guy that originally called us (steve), they went upstairs and the other guys made small talk with me. the conversation went something like this:
frat guy: "dude, you must get laid so much doing this job!"
(at this point an evil insidious plan began to form in my head)
me: " not me man, im not really into this kind of thing. its a little too kinky for my tastes."
frat guy: "huh? what do you mean?
me: " i mean im not into transexuals..."
frat guy: "trannies? what... now way! that chicks a dude?!!"
me: " yup, pre-op, hes already got his boobs done and is taking the hormones. now hes saving to have the cock cut off"
frat guy: " oh god... no way... does steve know? hes gonna be pissed!"
(at this point the entire frat was gathered around and listening to the conversation)
me: "im sure he already knows, customers have to special request this kind of thing. it wouldnt do for a guy to start a show, see a pair of balls, and beat up the dancer"
frat guy: "he knows?! i always knew something was wrong with that dude!!! ha ha ha"
(everybody starts laughing and the tranny jokes on steve commence)
10 min later steve was finished and came downstairs, everyone started laughing and throwing beer cans at steve. the dancer thought nothing of it and started mingling with the crowd
dancer: " ok boys, whos next. ooh, youre cute, i want you all too myself" (as she started touching one of the frat guys chests)
frat guy: (looking scared and violated, shrugged away from her) "uuuhhh, no... im ok."
dancer: "aaaww come on baby, you know you wanna touch these..." (playing with boobs topless)
frat guy: " no really, im ok... i think we are all done here"
everybody nodded in silent agreement except for steve who was egging on another show and only lent credit to my story of him wanting a tranny. she ended up getting dressed and we left to go to the next show. she was puzzled and couldnt understand why noone wanted a show from her. i think she took it personally that none of them were attracted to her and she was quiet for the rest of the night. eventually i told her the truth, and though she was pissed, their wasnt much she could say. it was my own quiet moment of victory
i am sindicate and i will totally choke a bitch out with her own g string