So I had been dating this woman for a few weeks and we were fooling around. This was the first time we were actually going to have sex. I've been in my share of vaginas and they are pretty much the same. They vary but they are all similar.....or so I THOUGHT.
I entered her and had to look down. I thought some tiny sprite or gnome had intercepted my penis and was playing it like a bluegrass fiddle. I couldn't comprehend what was happening to my loins.
This warranted further investigation. I thought I would explore with my hand. This Magical Vagina performed an impossible feat. It both grabbed and pushed my pointer. It reminded me of the creature in The ALIEN movies. It was like it had a mouth, in a mouth, in a mouth. (Luckily it wasn't all exoskeletony and hard. It was warm and cozy like a Silly Putty mitten.)
Things didn't work out with Mag-I-Vag, though. At one point I broke up with her but tried to take it back a week later. Seems women frown upon this. It was probably for the best as we were absolutely incompatable in every other way. I did call her a few times over the next year, trying to get another ride on the magic carpet but she was having none of it. I was like Sigourney Weaver. I kept going after that Alien.