From time to time I enjoy watching programs of an educational nature; usually those hour specials you can see on NatGeo, Discovery, and A&E regarding paleontology, ancient civilizations, cryptozoology, and space.

News and technology magazines are always a favorite, but the random shows dedicated to footage of a mummy unwrapping or CGI dramatizations of alien encounters hold their own special appeal.

As is the norm, I tend to stick with one show, exhausting all seasons til I'm sick of it, and then move on to another. These programs can range from sitcoms to drama mini-series to J or K-horror films - whatever satiates my whim. Apparently, I'm on this edu-kick right now, having sat through "Oldest Mummies in the World", "Desert Mummies of Peru", and "Secrets of the Incas" over the past two nights.

It was then that I realized I saw a special once on the discovery of one of the oldest single mummies in the known world - Spirit Cave Man. And they never did show the actual body.

Finding that peculiar, I decided to do some net research on my own to see if I could catch a glimpse of the remains, perhaps from their new resting place photographed from within some museum. But in doing that, I came across something too peculiar and hilarious not to share.


                             
                                       Forensic reconstruction of the ''Spirit Cave Man".


For those interested, Spirit Cave Man was found back in 1940, by an older couple surveying for archaeological sites outside Carson City, Nevada. Upon entering the Spirit Cave they found two wrapped bodies, along with a number of artifacts.

Back at the Nevada State Museum, these artifacts were estimated to be around 2,000 years old, but lacking the technology we have today, everything just sat around for over 50 years.

But then in 1996, University of California at Riverside used mass spectrometry to find the deeper-buried mummy, dubbed Spirit Cave Man, dated to an astounding 9,400 years old!

The next year, studies indicated this man carried Caucasian characteristics which more closely resemble the Ainu, or perhaps even Polynesian or Australian lineage, rather than those from any type of North American Native tribe.

The find was unbelievable, but not completely singular. Another mummy, known as Kennewick Man, was found in Washington State and also shares too many Caucasoid details for anyone to deny it - he, too, proved non-Native Americans were in the U.S. long before anyone had ever known.

But what stands out over anything else was what occurred following a forensic facial reconstruction using the skull:


      
                                          Forensic reconstruction of "Kennewick Man".



You see it? Take another look:


                                          


You see it now?? Lemme give you a clue:


                    
      
                         



Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) is the fucking Kennewick Man!!! And this came right from the researchers and forensics team themselves. The similarity is just uncanny, and downright weird.
To be fair though, uncovered mummies, from Kennewick Man to Spirit Cave Man, right down to the  Egyptians, the first Sumerians, and that poor bastard frozen in ice - were still of the same species as we, ancient or not.

It would probably be much more of an insult if Mr. Stewart found he closely resembled a Neanderthal or other long-extinct hominid. But it certainly does give you something interesting to think about, in terms of how so alike all humans are, yet at the same time so different.


But first I'm tempted to see if the old Star Trek: TNG crew used Kennewick Man as a possible stand-in for good ol' Mr. Stewart... though I could probably guess his reaction to the jokes he may have received: