Congratulations - you have made it to the first sentence of this blog, pat yourself on the back. Now, onto the topic of discussion: marijuana and alcohol. 

Since mostly all of you have either had experiences with marijuana or alcohol (possibly both), this blog may just relate to your lonesome self as you are probably either toking away as I express my thoughts or drinking a copious amount of your mother's alcohol. That being said, as the title blatantly states, both marijuana and alcohol are all mental. Sit back and chow down some more Cheetos, simpleton, because I know that you are about to jump out of your seat, spew saliva all of your cheap Compaq monitor, and exclaim, "MENTAL? THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE, YOU ARE DUMB 1 STAR LOL." By mental, I mean that the so-called "experiences" one normally displays while under the influence of alcohol or marijuana is nothing more but a way for attaining attention from others. 

Take Bob for example - Bob is a forty-five year old man, has been married for thirteen years to his beautiful wife Sue, has two lovely children, and works as a real estate agent for some big firm. Despite his clean and fulfilling facade, Bob actually drinks quite a lot and puffs marijuana on the side to cope with the stress that burdens his poor self. As you can clearly see, Bob drinks and smokes as a coping mechanism - he PURPOSELY drowns his sorrows away and thus enables him to be aware of his state of "drunkness" or "highness." We can conclude, based on these mere facts alone, that Bob adjusts his mentality in order to be drunk and high and pursues a state of being drunk and high. This progression lasts for quite a while until he finally decides to call it quits and gradually returns back to reality. 

Here's the cold hard truth for most of you recreational drinkers/tokers: your so-called "drunkness" or "highness" is all mental in that YOU process these states of beings with your own mind. I can force you to drink a vat of an unknown liquid, tell you that it's alcohol, and with the increase in time, your mind will process a state of "drunkness" when in reality the unknown liquid was water. This placebo effect can certainly be applied to most recreational drinkers and smokers in that when told something is real when in actuality it is not, your mind will be deceived into thinking the lie. I can act drunk or act high right now without even having to TOUCH a drop of alcohol or a blunt containing marijuana. 

"BUT BUT ANDREW THIS BLOG IS STUPID I DRINK AND I GET DRUNK LOL AND I THEN I TOKE LIKE THE CHEECH AND CHONG PEOPLE IN THAT MOVIE AND THEY GET HIGH LIKE ME LOL!!! ONE STAR YOU ARROGANT LOSER DOO DOO FACE" - slow down there, peasant, and just listen to what I have to say before you open your pig mouth. Being drunk or being high isn't a result of a physical intake of alcohol or marijuana; instead, it is a mental intake in that the media and other outlet sources have duped you into thinking that being drunk or being high is a DIRECT RESULT of drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana. 

In conclusion, to the people who act rather boisterous towards drinking and getting high, haul your fat ass off your computer chair and step outside. Breathe in the fresh air and accept what I just said because you know that I'm right. Stop watching Fox News (read my previous blog on how most of you are old white irate Republicans) and start watching REALITY.