Michael Phelps - more bad ass than Chuck Norris?

Finally someone manages to come close to Chuck Norris' level of awesomeness. Here are some Michael Phelps facts:


Michael Phelps isn't like a fish, a fish is like Michael Phelps


When Michael Phelps falls in water, Michael Phelps doesn't get wet. Water gets Michael Phelps


Michael Phelps doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage


Michael Phelps wasn't born he was hatched


Michael Phelps can eat out a mermaid


When you say "no one's perfect", Michael Phelps takes this as a personal insult


Michael Phelps counted to infinity twice while doing the breast stroke


Michael Phelps can no longer shower because water is afraid of him


When Michael Phelps looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Michael Phelps


Bigfoot takes pictures of Michael Phelps


On the Asian market, Michael Phelps' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce


Michael Phelps can dribble a football


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Michael Phelps out. It failed miserably


Michael Phelps can make water run uphill


Michael Phelps can divide by zero


When you Google 'Michael Phelps losing' you get no results because it just doesn't happen


Phelps once punched a hole thru a shark just to see down the ocean


If by some incredible space-time paradox, Michael Phelps would ever swim against himself, he'd win. Period.


Phelps doesn't sweat, he drips chlorine


Michael Phelps recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull


If at first you don't succeed, you're not Michael Phelps


Michael Phelps was what Willis was talkin' about


Michael Phelps saved Gepetto from the whale


Michael Phelps can swim through ice


Every time Michael Phelps laughs, an undertow kills 3 orphans


When in China, Michael Phelps would order whole chickens but only eat their souls…then do the breast stroke


Rappers no longer wear bling, they wear Michael Phelps


You can find a pot of Phelps at the end of the rainbow


There's an order to the universe: space, time, Michael Phelps.... Just kidding, Michael Phelps is first every time


People no longer go swimming, they go phelpsing


Contrary to popular belief, Phelps actually parted the Red Sea with his freestyle medley


Water would rather jump to its death than be near Michael Phelps, hence waterfalls


As a child, Phelps didn't wear water wings, water wings wore Michael Phelps


As polar ice caps continue to melt, humans will begin to evolve to adjust to a world of water. Conclusion: Phelps is from the future


Phelps taught Aquaman how to swim


Hurricane Phelps is a sign of the apocalypse; it makes Katrina look like a muddy puddle


Michael Phelps' sperm backstrokes

Uploaded 08/30/2008
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