My father is a great man.  I grew up knowing this.. but didn't appreciate it much until in the past couple years.

He, like many others, worked very hard his whole life.  He was the oldest of 7, in a family that relied on welfare to get by.  They didn't have much but each other.  They lived in Newfoundland... a great place to visit, shitty place to live.  Ever since the restrictions put on Cod fishing, whatever jobs that were once there, have been eliminated.  Many Newfies... like my mother and father, moved to Ontario to find work.

My dad works on the cargo ships, and has for almost 30 years.  He started out as a general laborer who sailed on the cargo ships performing various entry level jobs on the boats.  He then went on to be a welder, which he excelled at.  Eventually he moved up the ranks, and found a position that allowed him to stay home more, and travel less.  Now he's the project manager at the ship repair company he works at now. He appraises jobs, and tells his company what to bit on certain contracts... they don't always listen to him.. but he gives them a good idea.  He also supervises a shift on each of the jobs he appraises... and decides what the workers need as the job goes on. When we're short guys, or on a crunch for time, you'll find him down with his workers doing the same jobs they do.  I had the opportunity to work with him a few times, and saw what he's been going off to work each day to do.  It's given me a new found respect for him and his ways of thinking... a bit (he's pretty openly racist... but I still love em)

When I was a kid, he would take us all on scenic drives and annual camping trips.  He owned a couple boats that he would take us out on as well.  He taught me how to fish. He taught me the value of hard work.  He taught me how to enjoy the outdoors.  Now he's talking about moving into a trailer when my youngest sibling moves out.... this scares the shit out of my mother.  My mother, like many others, is a women of convenience. She is bad with my fathers money, and hasn't worked a day in 20 years.  She likes my father's income... she looks forward to a day where they don't have to support us anymore, and she can indulge more.  My dad has been complaining a lot about her lately...

See... he wants the simple life. He doesn't see the point in paying for an empty house, and pool that no one swims in.  He still loves camping, recently took up hunting, and has always fished.  He knows how to survive in some of the toughest situations, and if you ask him, he'd probably tell you that he prefers the challenge and work of living in the wilderness.  I am the same way... and it's because of him that I am this way.

My mother wants nothing to do with it.  She does enjoy time to unwind on a floating dock, on a sunny day.  But she is also very social.  She likes being around people, and civilization. She like's being able to go to bingo every week, walking down the street for cigarettes, and all that good stuff... nothing wrong with it except it conflicts with my father's more simple goals.  I can agree with her to some extent.  She has growing health problems that she's been ignoring, or making excuses not to treat, for a few years now. She now has the excuse not to be too far from a hospital.  She is in legitamit pain... but she doesn't do anything the doctors tell her to do to fix it.  She's now at 5 refused surgeries to help her with different causes of pain.  She is growing tumors that could be stopped by surgery... but would rather just have them removed when they pop up.  They want to operate on her feet, but she refuses to let them because the doctor told her that "there's been success in the states" and that's what they told her before her back operation that made matters worse... she also needs to quit smoking (my dad told me that... not her).

So how do they meet in the middle.  Should my dad keep on with the "happy wife, happy life" or try and convince her to get into the goal my dad has been working for, for so long?  I know she doesn't appreciate his hard work... she talks to me about it like she knows what goes on, on the job site. She likes the money it brings to her and her wants... I don't want to say that she doesn't deserve her own way... but she doesn't.  Growing up, us kids did the house work.  We did the laundry, the vacuuming, the dishes, the dusting, cleaned the pool. Her excuse was always the pain she was going through, and she made sure to make us feel bad if she had to do something we were asked to do, herself.  Me and my mother have never gotten along.... she's never acknowledged any serious problem she couldn't deal with easily.... and it made me resent her very much.... but that's not the point..

I think my father earned whatever he wants out of life.  He's supported people his whole life, including when he was living with his own parents back home... I really think that my mom should be more keen on appreciating my father's efforts, instead of fighting for her own wants. Agreed?