My Gripe Cranky Old Bastard, ugdork

I get annoyed a lot. A LOT! I could write a gripe blog a day and never run out of material.

Tonight's annoyance came during the first commercial break in The Simpsons. This season has sucked hobo-balls but the episode tonight was actually well-written, clever and reminiscent of greatness past but I'm going off on a tangent.

When they broke for a commercial we saw one of the latest "I'm a PC" spots featuring customer-submitted footage. Aside from the fact that Goliath Microsoft is cheaping out and airing commercials that require basically no production cost, I wonder why they think using choppy, pixellated web cam footage will help sell their technology.

"Let's use the crappiest application of our product to sell our product."

The next ad was for Mcdonald's McRibs. HEY, EVERYONE, THE McRIB IS BACK!!! The McRib is an nasty little sandwich of processed, pressed 'pork product' that is pushed into the catagory of obscene by the fact that it is shaped like a Play-Skool version of shortribs. That's as morbid as bringing a pâté to a wake but the pâté is molded to resemble the face of the deceased.

At least it was more politically correct than the in years past when they used some deep-voiced white guy actor trying to sound black, "Oh yeah.. 'da McRyab is back."

We all know how them black folk like their BBQ ribs.

The final commercial in this trifecta of suck-osity was a No Stank You dot com bit which features everyday young people dancing with lung-Muppets. One boy is dancing with a grey, shriveled lung-Muppet. HINT: he's the smoker and a bunch of kids (presumably non-smokers) dancing with a pink, healthy lung-Muppet.

I don't know if tweens and early teens get the message that smoking is bad but I bet they get the message that if you are kinda' pudgy, emo, and goofy-looking, you TOO can be in their next commercial.

I'm guessing you do this by submitting a video of yourself to If you don't make it you can always send it to Microsoft and be in one of THEIR commercials.

That, friends, is my gripe for tonight. I am ugdork and I am perfect.

Uploaded 11/10/2008
  • 0 Favorites
  • Stumble
  • Pin It