My Miserable Life Continues!

Today, I had a once in twenty year experience. Replacing my roofing shingles. It was a bit premature because a micro burst terminated my roof after a week of tribulations. No matter, suck it up, there's a job to do and I'm the man.

I have four boys who would love to help, but disappeared for prolonged durations today. Just as well I suppose, I would be nervous of them falling off the roof and me living a life of absolute guilt for not hiring a roofing company.

So I did my duty as provider and cleaned up the deck of my roof, slinging shingles over my shoulders and carrying them up two stories. Ice shield was laid out for the first three feet followed by tar paper and finally the shingles. I used plastic roof cement on the vulnerable areas that may have been a factor in the roof becoming detached in the first place.

At about eleven O'clock, I needed to pee, so I went down the ladder in my worn out deck shoes. Just before stepping into my home, a lovely roofing nail entered my tender tootsies. O'Joy! No time to tend to my wound, I continue in my work. I have the immunity of a squirrel, so I'm not concerned with infection.

Back up onto the roof, nearing the edge, my right foot slips on some debris as I am cleaning up. Thank God or the friction specifications of my shoes, my left shoe is fully anchored and Letemdangle is saved from a life of crippled existence.

The shingles got laid, a quick clean up commenced and neighbors in my area asked me to shingle their homes. Na! Fuck that shit!

Just after my roof blew off, a sweet Chinese neighbor lady asked, if she could do anything to help me. Feeling frustrated from my week and now this new situation I said, " Sure grab a hammer and re-shingle my roof."  She covered her mouth in that sweet Chinese way and said, "you so funny."

Both my feet are burning now and I can't figure which one had the nail in it.

Gonna get drunk tonight! Might even go temporarily insane and spew some hatred!

Just bull shiting here a little, at least it is original.
Uploaded 04/30/2011
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