What's this? A deep and emotionally charged short story that describes some of my most personal feelings using a series of poetic analogies? I guess there's still a shred of goth left in me somewhere. I wrote this last night, after I ripped the head off of someone who's been with me through an awful, awful lot... and she didn't deserve it at all. Those of you who know me best, obviously, will have the clearest understanding of what all this is. In any case, enjoy:

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The knife pierces through me, cutting deep, reaching all the way to my heart and the wolf within. He cries out as the blade sinks into his back, and he whirls on his attacker but I stand in his way. I stroke his mane and I speak to him in soft tones. "Be calm, my friend. She's just a silly girl with a lot of growing up to do. She didn't mean to hurt us, and she won't do it again." And my friend obeys, and licks his wound.

The knife pierces through me, cutting deep, reaching all the way to my heart and the wolf within. He cries out as the blade sinks into his back, and he whirls on his attacker... but I stand in his way. I stroke his mane and I speak to him in soft tones. "Be calm, my friend. She was seduced, and in her loneliness without us she gave in to her need. She never wanted to hurt us. It's over now, and she's learned from her mistakes. She won't do it again." And my friend obeys, and licks his wounds.

The knife pierces through me, cutting deep, reaching all the way to my heart and the wolf within. He cries out as the blade sinks into his back, and he whirls on his attacker... but again I stand in his way. I stroke his mane and I speak to him in soft tones. "Be calm, my friend. She was drunk and not thinking clearly, he was there to take advantage and her friend encouraged her, believing we were through. He was no one, she'll never see him again... It was a one time thing. She won't do it again." And my friend obeys and licks his wounds, but I can see that he's trembling now from the pain and I'm so sorry that I've allowed this to happen to him.

The knife pierces through me, cutting deep, reaching all the way to my heart and the wolf within. He cries out as the blade sinks into his back, and he whirls on his attacker... but once again I stand in his way. I stroke his mane and I speak to him in soft tones. "Be calm, my friend. I'm so very sorry that I've failed to stop this, but I'm stopping it now once and for all. Please, be calm and let me handle this. It's over now. I won't let her do it again." And my friend obeys and licks his wounds, but I can see his blood is dripping to the floor, pooling around his feet. I see the chains that bind him, and they're strained. He's been pulling on them, and the links are ready to break. Oh, my loyal friend... Please, please forgive me for failing to protect you. I was blinded by my desire, I didn't want to see the truth and for that you have suffered dearly. I'm so sorry... But I'm wiser now. Please, I beg you, heal your wounds and be calm. I'll never let anyone hurt us like this ever again, I swear it to you... So please...

I can feel him within. My dear friend, crying in his cage, bleeding in the dark, alone with his questions and his doubts. Why won't his wounds close? Why won't those knives come out? I want so much for him to be whole again, but I feel so powerless to help him, and my heart aches because I know that it's my fault he suffers, I did this to him. He's straining at his chains now... Every little thing that aggravates me, I can feel him pulling harder. His fangs gnash behind my teeth, his eyes burn behind my eyes. Such rage, such violence. Please, my old friend, please be calm.

I seek solace in those closest to me. If I can't get through to my friend, then perhaps I can find someone who can. My angel, and his. Surely he will be calm for our angel, surely she can help us. Surely she can save us. I sense a dark day coming, I see myself standing before my friend, but he's no longer my friend. His broken chains hang from his body, his blood pours from the open knife wounds in his back... And he's not obeying me anymore. I wake from this nightmare and I pray it was nothing more than a dream. Soon our angel will be here, my friend. Please be calm... Please, be patient. Just a little longer.

Today our angel told us she's not coming, and I felt a chain break. No, my friend... Be calm, let me talk to her. She'll listen to us, just let me ask her why. She tells us she's been thinking, but we know she thinks only of us. "She hasn't been thinking," my friend whispers, but I can hear the fury hidden in his hushed voice. "Someone else has been TALKING, and she's been LISTENING." I feel another chain break, it's shattered pieces crash to the floor with the weight of all our burdens. Please calm yourself, old friend. Our angel will listen to us, she will make us happy again. I ask her who has changed her mind. She's surprised that I knew, like she always is even though she knows she can't hide anything from us. But she refuses. She denies us. Why would she deny us? She would never refuse us... Is she protecting this person? Why would she do that? "I know why." I hear him whisper, but he's not talking to me anymore. Stay calm my friend, you don't know. I swore I would never allow it again. "You've sworn many times." I know... I'm sorry. Please, just trust me... Just a little longer. Have faith in our angel.

"I want to know who. NOW!!!" I hear him scream. I open my mouth to reassure him, but our angel answers him. Did she hear him? Why did she hear my friend? He speaks only through me. "David" I hear her say, and the name sounds familiar to me. Somewhere, deep inside, that name tolls bells of hatred. Something's wrong. I turn to see my friend and I see only one chain remains. Why didn't I feel the others break? Have I lost my connection? Suddenly I remember someplace where I've heard the name David, someplace full of hurt and betrayal... and with horror I watch the final chain snap. "NO!! NOT HER!!" I scream as my friend rushes by. I can smell the blood, I can feel his rage so thick and heavy in the air that it brings me to my knees... "If you won't protect us, then I will" he says. This can't be happening... Oh, my old friend. I'm so sorry for all that I've done to you... What has this pain, this loneliness transformed you into? What have I allowed you to become, trapped here in the dark, absorbing all my pain for me and facing it alone so that I can be free of it?

The knife pierces through him, cutting deep, reaching all the way to his heart and I within. I cry out as the blade sinks into my chest, and I look up to see my old friend is holding the handle. "I was wrong," he says to me. "I struck out to shield us and found only our angel, as gentle and loyal and fragile as she's ever been... and in my fear, I've ruined and destroyed her. Now we're truly alone... please, forgive me. I won't do it again." I nod, and lick my wound... but it still bleeds, and I know it will never heal.