My Philosophies

Forks have an unusual way of always fitting into an electrical oulet

Whether it's grass, ass, or gas, nobody rides for free.

Always blame it on the guy that doesn't speak english.

When in doubt, FUCK A BITCH!

The bigger the warning label, the more fun you could have.

It's always better to be pissed off than pissed on.

If you sell crack, don't go door to door.(i know someone that used to)

Anything good in life is probably immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Dont put your penis in a pencil sharpener.

It's only illegal if you get caught.

If it has 4 legs or wings, don't have sex with it.

Strangers always have the best candy.

If your girlfriend wants you be more like a gay guy, teach her a lesson by putting it up her ass.

Everything looks better through beer goggles.

Amsterdam is possibly the greatest city inthe world.

If your girlfriend is 18 and your 17, technically you are getting raped.

I've had sex, just not with people.

It's ok to get high, but it's not ok to eat all your kid's cereal afterwards.

Thou shall not spill thy beer.

Never EVER, lose the boose.

And finally, it's about the journey, not the destination.