New Years Party

So for New Years I hosted an event in Hollywood.  Yes, I am that cool to host an event in Hollywood.  But my coolness is not the point of this blog.  Maybe another blog.  The point of this blog  is just to tell a story of a girl.  A drunk girl.  An extremely drunk girl. 

This party had an open bar all night so obviously people were going to take advantage.  I know I did.  Most people were a good happy drunkness, but there was one girl who you could see was just on another level.  At first there was a guy kind of all over her and it looked like he may be trying to take advantage of a girl who didn't know where the fuck she was.  There was just a really creepy vibe he was giving off.  Now, I have a sister so I don't play around with that shit.  I got into Batman mode and was ready to pop out of the shadows and get him, but her friend told me that it was cool and it was her boyfriend.  But like I said, there was something really creepy about him so I was gonna keep an eye out.  Oh well, fuck it.  I will go back to my business. 

About an hour later she is on the dance floor and eats shit and it was possibly the third greatest thing I had ever seen in regards to a person falling down.  We all got a laugh and then she puked all over herself and I stopped laughing. That's just nasty.  I figured at this point her friends would get her out of there.  She disappeared for a while so I thought they took her home. 

Suddenly, a guy comes up to me telling me I need to get security.  I am not an official employee of this place so I didn't want to deal with it because I don't know if they could get in trouble or something.  So I get a guy who does work there and we start to walk over to where the other guy is.  Apparently she punched some girl in the throat.  On the way over however, I look on the dance floor  and there is blood everywhere.  It was the same drunk girl bleeding everywhere from her foot or something.  I didn't want to clean it.  I don't know if she is some sort of AIDS terrorist and this is her equivalent of a suicide bomb.  But I couldn't just leave it there and the woman who payed for the whole event starts cleaning it.  Damn I have to help.  We get that taken care of and the drunk chick is carried out by her friends.  At least that is done with. 

We go back to having our good time.  The ball drops, the new year is upon us.  The girl bursts back in and all these guys are trying to stop her as she is handing out knuckle sandwiches like it was her job.  And the guys looked really scared too.  That was a really nice way to bring in 2012.

That was the last I saw of that crazy drunken girl.  I stopped paying attention at that point because I had ushered in the new year and was trying to get paid for the night.  Funny thing though, and also disgusting.  There is always some chick who can do the splits even though she has no business doing so.  There was a rather hefty girl doing them that fateful night.  Her dress sort of... rode up so it was just her underwear..... which I couldn't tell if she had any on.  This in itself was just wrong looking, until I realized she was doing on the very blood stained dance floor from earlier.  That's how horror movies start.  I just threw up in my mouth.

Thank you for reading my ramblings.  May your 2012 be great, and if you happen to bump your vagina on a bloody dance floor, you have to chop it off before the crazy spreads.  It's the only way.
Uploaded 01/05/2012
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