Last night, President Obama announced to the public that he had prevented the government shutdown.
"The American people have been told the agreement contains both historic and painful cuts. Yes, some of the cuts are going to hurt, but that's what you do in a Democracy. You compromise. You give a little and get a little.
For instance, when I allowed them to compromise Medicare, they agreed to give up two weekends of golf a year at their country clubs. When I agreed to end funding for any health service that offers abortions, they agreed to create more jobs in America."
A The Spoof reporter asked, "When the tax breaks for the rich were extended, which they'd had since the Bush administration, more jobs in the U.S. were promised already, but they didn't materialize. What makes you think this time will be any different, Mr. Obama?"
Mr. Obama replied.
"Now, I know that the jobs didn't materialize last time they promised them, but I'm really hoping that this time they will keep their word. I know in my heart that somwhere, deep down, the Republicans have a sense of fair play and I'm sure they'll come through this time.
A few months ago, I was able to sign a tax cut for American families because both parties worked through their differences and found common ground, the president said. Now, the same cooperation has made it possible for us to move forward with the biggest annual spending cut in history. And its my sincere hope that we can continue to come together as we face the many difficult challenges that lie ahead from creating jobs and growing our economy to educating our children and reducing our long-term deficits. Sure the rich got much bigger amounts from the government, but that's because they make more. Sure we bailied out the rich corporations, but we have to make cuts somewhere, and I think it's best for the American people if we make the cuts to the poor, elderly, and middle class. After all, the rich need their money to create jobs, which will benefit all Americans.
As President Obama bows deeply to the Republican and Tea Party candidates, he feels that in the long-run, Americans will be proud of him for compromising and being bi-partisan.
"Bi-partisan?" The Spoof reporter asked. "I guess by bi-partisan he means Republcans and Tea Party members."