Fred Phelps, after becoming seriously ill, entered the hospital for some tests.  After a few days, the doctor came into his room and addressed him.

"I have some good news and some bad news.  Which do you want first?"

"Give me the good news first, doctor."

"Well, the good news is you're dying."

"WHAT?  THAT'S the GOOD NEWS?  For God's SAKE!  What's the BAD news?"

"You're dying of AIDS."