Our Trip to Indianapolis


The trip to Indy was not fun this morning. Not only was the traffic really bad, but the huge taco salad I had on Sunday was starting to gurgle a little bit and Jennifer was not impressed. She usually restricts my intake of mexican food to ensure the "gurgling" only occurs when I am away from her at work most of the time but this time she forgot about the drive to Indy today.

The first incident occurred when the fabric lining on the ceiling started to curl up and fall off and OnStar called us and told us to immediately exit the vehicle and do a drop and roll in the median. We did get a police escort out of the county though so it wasn't all that bad. The EPA was kind of an overkill though I think.

The Doctor's office wasn't really fun either. He told us that we both needed to lay off eggs. Jenn asked him if our cholesterol was high and he said, "No, you husbands farts are killing everyone in this room!" By this point my emissions would not have passed in the state of California and I was seriously needing to find a restroom. Finally on the way out I found one of the small "one seaters" that are usually reserved for urine tests and dashed inside for relief. Really the funniest thing about the whole situation was this restroom was about 20 feet down the hall and around the corner from the elevator and as the doors closed on us in the elevator I heard with grim amusement someone as they walked into the bathroom or through the invisible cloud of death that was released from there into the hallway and exclaim "Oh my God! What the hell is that"

At this point Jennifer threatened to violate me with the biggest cork she could find if my "flatulence from Hell" continued on the return trip home or before we exited this very elevator. I assured her that the evilness had left me like in the alien movie and there should not be any more danger. She accepted my apology but refused to touch me until I got home and had a shower.

Anyway we are home now but she is still a little mad at me. Looks like I probably will not be having mexican food for awhile.

Uploaded 05/10/2008
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Tags: indy brian