So today I was dragged down to Jersey with some family members. I was not the one to drive this time (thank god), so my brother did instead. My other brother was in the back seat, and I was in the second row of back seats behind that one. My Brother's girlfriend was in the passenger seat. So We're driving home, and we approach the George Washington Bridge, (which connects New York to New Jersey) and I have to pee so badly. Not even a little, like, it was the most I've ever felt like I had to pee EVER. So I keep it to myself, not wanting to disturb anyone.
About an hour passed. The traffic worsened. It got to the point where for a full 10 minutes our car was still. I NEEDED to pee. I HAD to. I blurted out to my brother; "I HAVE TO PEE. NOW. WHAT CAN I PEE IN?" He laughed at me, but I stayed serious. He turned around and told me; "The cooler in the trunk, behind you."
Well isn't this lovely? I took the cooler, leveled it on the seat, and sat on top of it gently. I let my panties drop, since I was wearing a dress, and as I did so, Stairway To Heaven came on the radio. Great. Pissing in a cooler, in a car, while this epic rock anthem is on.
By now everyone was cracking up in the car and singing Stairway obnoxiously, making fun of me. I was nervous because of this, and started yelling out of bizarre panic: "I CAN'T PEE! FUCK I CAN'T PEE!" this made the laughter worse.
So finally I began to tinkle. This lasted a few minutes. I wasn't kidding when I said I had to pee.
I lowered my body off the cooler only to turn around and see an African American Suga-Momma looking woman in a pink convertible, yes pink, conviently behind us, with a horrified look on her face. I stuck my tongue out at her and slapped my ass. She might've shat herself.
Anyway. Then I dumped the large cooler of urine out the window.
Guess where it landed?
Some was on the street.
Suga momma's windshield.