People I Hate

People who are screaming but not in pain.

People who have the "Invest in Children" bumper sticker and drive way too fast into the school parking lot.

People who obsess with photographs of celebrity children.

People over the age of 15 who still giggle at the number "69".

People at the head of the line who aren't ready to leave after a long-red light.

People at the head of the line who aren't ready to order at a restaurant.

The attitude from "Flight Attendents" when they are referred to as "stewards" or "stewardesses." They're plane-waiters.

News people who read every story, no matter how happy or how sad, with the same gravitas.

People yelling at their kids from across the store. This is especially true if your child's name is Cody, Spencer, Scott, mark, Smudge, Brenden, Perry, Dixon, Dakota, Jason, Hunter, Connor, Parker, Dallas, Houston, River, Belcher, Snorkle, Turt, Corgie, Bravo, Lusitania, Croopy, Spenny, Hidalga, Schwarma, or Beef.

People, specifically media personalities, who put emphasis on the wrong word in a sentence.

Radio or TV personalities who refer to earthquakes by saying, “There's a whole-lotta shakin' going on.”

The guy who runs on stage with both of his thumbs up.


Lisa Marie Presley. She looks like her father did just moments before his death.

People who are famous for being famous. People should have to do something significant in order to be famous - like a public execution. Everyone would remember Paris' trip up the stairs to the gallows.

People who say, "I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you."

Uploaded 05/25/2008
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