Lord PepperPeanut, almighty savior of the front page, has been ousted by the humble Duke of Forumington, AndrewRyan the III. Land of Forumington is a mystical place of gorgeous ladies, alcohol aplenty, and a cornucopia of quality scribes willing to work for mere cents. AndrewRyan the III caught Lord PepperPeanut of Front Pageington writing filth to perpetuate his agenda of submitting all "pro-choice, pro-women's rights" verbiage to the NWO (New World Order, the anti-freedom group of persons).
I hereby charge Lord PepperPeanut with slander, misogyny, and outright BLASPHEMY AGAINST THE EBAUM RELIGION, ESTABLISHED BY LORD ERIC BAUMAN OF THE FIRST REALM OF EBAUM'S WORLD. ERGO, Lord PEPPERPEANUT OF FRONT PAGEINGTON SHALL FACE THE DEATH PENALTY, TO BE PERMANENTLY BANISHED FROM ALL AFFILIATED OF EBAUM'S WORLD.