About 15 years ago I worked as a clerk in an insurance company. It was a boring, mind numbing job in a sea of cubicles and computers. I also had a buddy who worked in a similar job with a different employer. As we were both experts in slacking off, we would stay in steady contact throughout the day and pass the time exchanging jokes and porn. It was also fun to prank each other with crank calls or fax weird and funny letters that would surely be seen by co-workers.
Recently I was going through a box of old papers and came across several of the strange and funny faxes we exchanged during a particularly boring month. The following is a sample of one of those faxes. If people like these I will share more.
SENT VIA FAX URGENT
To D. Paul, Admin Manager, AAA Heating & AC Ltd.
From Ed (Sausage Fingers) Grimiest, Happy Mammal Deli Meats and Sausage
Re: Your Recent Meat Order
Dear Mr. Paul
Thank you for your recent order. Unfortunately, the Asian Delite sausage you are seeking has been withdrawn from sale pending lab results and the outcome of our legal dispute with the Government of Vietnam. However, we were able to locate the Camel Loaf deli slices and Super Crunch Squirrel sausage through an overseas connection and your order should arrive shortly.
For future reference, the following is a list of some of the more popular flavors that may be of interest to you:
Goat Brain Squishy: kids love it and now no cooking is required! (Also available in grape, cherry and iguana flavor)
Organ Temptation Slices: with large meaty chunks just right for feeding your hungery pals at those weekend pit bull fights
100% Deli Slices: that name says it all, we’ve spared no expense to include every animal part and the crunchy variety even includes hooves! (please note that animal species varies according to availability and hunting season)
Eastern European Style Breakfast sausages: remnants and saw dust never tasted so good!
Included with this fax is a form and price list for future orders. Thank you for doing business with Happy Mammal Deli Meats and Sausage where “Happy Mammals are Tasty Mammals!"