I have a friend who is a real nice guy. You know, the kind of guy who always opens the door for his girlfriend, always says "ma'am" and "sir."
To be honest, he's kind of a tool.
But he's still my best friend. Except when he's around his girlfriend. Anyway, he just got a job as a police officer in a very violent city in Michigan. Hint: second most violent after Detroit. He's probably gonna get shot, just because he won't wanna bend or break the law in any way, and will probably tell an armed gunman to drop the gun 30 times before actually taking action.
I digress. (I really hate this phrase. Why did I use it? Sorry for the commentary. But you know you loved it.)
He once had this crazy valkyrie girlfriend. If you don't know what that is, wikipedia it. I don't feel like explaining it. One day he tells me that his bitch-ex (valkyrie bitch) cheated on him. Naturally, I am stunned, so I ask about it (holy shit i'm startin to sound like waverlygirl, but with better punctuation).
Eventually he tells me that she cheated on him with another girl. AMAZING. I try to convey that this is awesome to him. Apparently she just made out with her at a party or something.
He turns, and looks at me completely seriously.
"Yea," he says, " But she was cheating on her other boyfriend with a girl too."
I literally laughed for 20 minutes straight.