Random Old Lady at the Grocery Store

My mom, my brother, and I went to the grocery store today. While we were there my mom sent me to get a gallon of milk. So I go back there and there is this frail little old lady blocking the whole milk so I wait patiently by looking at the clearance bakery items nearby. So when she's finally about to move she leans over and says to me,

" You know, those angel's food cakes keep for a really long time. I have one in the refrigerator downstairs because I don't have enough room upstair. Sometimes I'll get it out and have a little of it. I usually share it with my daughter from __________  ( nearby town ). "

So I just played along nodding my head and listening. Then she picked up one of those cookie cakes that you get for a kids' birthday or something and then she started again about how she was the only kid in her house and how she was also the mother, father, and wife, and everything else.

So by this point I'm getting kinda annoyed because it was an awkward situatuion and I just wanted to get my milk and get out of there. But then she picks up a cherry pie and she goes, " Oh I rarely see these anymore. I like them, too. It's usually all berry pies and whatnot now. I can't eat those berry pies even though they taste so darm good because I only have a few inches of large intestine. I can't have all the things with seeds in them even though I really want them sometimes. Colon cancer runs in my family, you know."

So now I'm like, okay, why the hell are you telling my your life story and about how your family has a history of colon cancer? She went on to talk some more about how her father would have a bowl of blackberries with milk or sugar on them sometimes in the evening even though he probably shouldn't have.

She also pointed out the 2 individual chilled parfaits in her cart. One was lemon and the other was apple caramel. My mom came over at around this time and then the lady went on to say how the store sometimes has them in the chilled section of the bakery and that when she comes to the store she takes a peek to see if there are any there. She also explained that her daughter was a diabetic and they'd share the desserts. She offered us the apple caramel one because she " just couldn't eat 2 by herself". So my mom tried to get her to get it back by doing the usual, " Oh, why don't you have it. You can save it for tomorrow or share it with your daugghter."

We ended up taking the freaking parfait and it's in our fridge. I'm not a big fan of caramel apple myself but I have a feeling that when my dad gets home tomorrow he won't have a problem with eating it.

Thanks for reading and this story is 100% true.

Uploaded 10/04/2008
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