Seize the day with perseverance, unrestrained fortitude, and cocaine. ---Chris Penn on his personal philosophy

Money can only buy you sex, drugs, friends, and solutions to your problems. It will not buy you happiness. ---Mark Cuban on being wealthy

I need to run for president like I need a hole in the head.---John F. Kennedy when asked about the Democratic Party needing young blood to rejuvenate their party.

One can only obtain success by surrounding himself with less talented individuals thereby allowing his own limited talents to be relatively superior.---Ringo Starr on his musical success

I swear if you make me work one more weekend, I'll...I'll shoot the president.---Lee Harvey Oswald when asked about his opinion on overtime

The secret to being a good comedian is to experience tragedy, joy, sacrifice, and undying love by those closest to you. And to be really, really funny.---Carrot Top

True love can only be experienced through really rough anal sex with someone who may not be that into it. ---Jim J. Bullock on love and romance

Look, science is like the bully we all knew in first grade that took your lunch money and told you there really wasnt a Santa Claus. ---Pat Robertson when asked whether or not he believed in gravity

Sure drugs are dangerous. Thats why you respect them, do them when youre young, and get it out of your system. Then you have the rest of your life to concentrate on your career and family. ---River Phoenix on drugs

The key to governing a country is to allow the people to have their own beliefs, values, and opinions. If any of those differ from yours, torture and kill until everybody else climbs aboard the mother ship. ---Idi Amin on his vision of a 20th century Uganda

Its like a magical, beautiful, life-shaping event that everyone has to go through in order to become one with your inner self.---Drew Barrymore on bowel movements

I think I'll start hiring cheaper labor...maybe boys right out of high school wholl work for minimum wage. ---John Wayne Gacy on how to cut down on overhead

To me acting is like public masturbation. Greatness is defined when I get off and everyone gets a good show. ---Marlon Brando

People always say write what you know. I say who wants to read about me getting drunk, getting my ass kicked, then sleeping with the skankiest girl at the bar?--- Charles Bukowski

I just hope the underprivileged children of the world appreciate the great sacrifices I have made for them. And that all of the world will someday embrace my music and celebrate my genius. ---Bono when asked about his great capacity for humility

Hey...seriously guys, do you hear that noise?? That doesnt sound right.---Ronnie Van Zant

If were going to have another homo orgy tonight thats fine, but dont let Hitler drink so much. He gets so damn mean.---Heinrich Himmler talking about the post-"Night of the Long Knives" party

Walrus my ass. Lennon is so pussy-whipped. Mark my words, Yoko will have her dog face at our recording sessions by the end of the year.---Sir Paul McCartney

Sure I've adopted kids from every thrid world shit hole on the Earth, I've made myself into a bleeding heart douche bag, and I've made myself an over exposed, holier-than-thou ass bag. But at the end of the day I'm still banging Angelina Jolie in ways you've never even dream about.---Brad Pitt

Its kinda like when you pass out in a biker bar and you wake up to some tranny doing the electric bugaloo on your cock..do ya sit back and enjoy the ride for awhile or do ya jump back and get the fuck outta there.---Gary Busey commenting on walking in on his parents having sex

And another thing little missy, you drop the ball on one more of these beauty pageants and I swear to god I will kill you and make it look like somebody broke in to kidnap you.---John Ramsey giving a pep talk to his daughter

I dont know what you mean by racial prejudice or bigotry. I do know that all black men scare me. They run around with their huge members dangling while they dance. I dont understand that either. --- Lucille Ball being asked about the state of racial equality in America

...my cock erupted with burning sores and seeping lesions. Thats when I knew my virginal bride was a whore.---Un-recorded line from Lionel Ritchies Dancin on the Ceiling

I do think my reputation scares some men away. I mean, I have done a lot of shit, ya know, but I get lonely too. However, I'm not slathering peanut butter on the old stink cave and calling for Mr. Fluffles yet...say man, do you have any peanut butter? ---Courtney Love in a Bark magazine interview about her dog Mr. Fluffles