*Names have been changed for privacy of others.      

      The reason I ask this is simple. I grew up in a Christian family. I went to church all of my life, and I even continue to play bass a couple times a month their. When I was in Jr. High, and High School I attended Sunday School there with about 10-15 kids depending on who was there that week. I had gotten to know these people pretty well over the years, and would consider them my friends. The funny thing about them is, even though we all went to church, and believed in God; 85% of us cussed, drank, used drugs, and had sex outside of the church. I always found this funny. Granted, I never had a strong faith, and loathed going to Sunday School, but these kids seemed to love it, and have a very strong faith. I always found this funny, and a bit confusing. How can kids of this faith still do these things even though they know it's wrong? I mean, if you believe in an almighty being, and know your actions could condemn you to eternal pain for a billion quadrillion plus years, why the fuck are you doing it? I always wondered if they where like me. If they where dragged to church by their parents, and didn't really believe deep down. Then one day, I was out with two of them. One named Jimmy, and the other named Paige who happened to be dating each other. I knew Paige drank, and smoked weed, and that they where both sexually active with each other. The subject of me being agnostic (for lack of a better word) came up, and they where both shocked. Here I thought that we where on the same page with the whole religion thing, only to find out they both believed in God as strongly as the Pope. What I'm getting at here I guess is: why do people believe in God, but choose to so blatantly disobey him? Don't they believe that in Heaven they will receive eternal bliss if they can just hold out for a measly 80 years (if your lucky)? Any thoughts and opinions are welcomed.

Now I'll switch gears a little and tell you how I became agnostic/atheist/insert word here.

     Like I said, I grew up in a very Christian family. I was baptized at the age of 11. This decision was more ritualistic than anything; not that I told my family that. I don't think I was ever a true believer. I had always "believed" and I realized later on that it was because I didn't have the knowledge to think anything otherwise. 11th grade what when I started gaining that knowledge.

      In my HS English class, we where reading creation stories. We read the one (the religion escapes me) about the world being on the back of a turtle. I was so ridiculous, and I thought to myself "these people are fools for ever believing any of this stuff". Well, come that Sunday, in my youth group, we stared talking about Genesis. We discussed how God made Eve from a rib,  how it didn't rain back then, water just came up as mist from the ground, and how Eve talked to a snake who had legs. I then started to think about the story in my English class. This was just as ridiculous as the world being on a turtles back! From then on, my life began to change.

     I started to strongly question my faith. I stared to realize that every religion believes just as strongly in their god and way of life as my church did. It was also around this same time I realized just how big, and mysterious the universe really is. We are nothing( I don't mean insignificant) compared to everything out there. Why would a god create such a vast univirse for a bunch of schmucks here on earth? It didn't make sense to me. I finally gathered enough courage to say out loud I am not a Christian anymore. This felt good. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Sorry if this blog is long, and rambley, but I felt compelled to write it. Listed below are the main reason I don't believe in a god:

-There are hundreds, maybe thousands of different religions, the majority claiming an afterlife deemed by how you live on earth. All believe as strongly as you do about yours.

-Why would a god send people to a hell? He "loves us", and it's not like we where fucking consulted by said god. We randomly get thrown into a world, we never get to see, hear, or feel god, and if we do, it can easily be our imagination/conscious. So why believe?

- God's rules. Whats so bad about saying fuck or shit? Why would that make us go to hell? Why do we have to say magic words before we can stick our pee pee into a vaginy? It's childish. Why can't two females, or two males have at it in the privacy of their own home? other species do it all the time.

- Like I said before, the universe is so big and crazy. Trillion of planets, and there is no other intelligent being? Come on, now thats crazy. Things in this universe took billions of years to happen. Star light reaching us, mountains and valleys being created, fossilized remains of animals. Shit like that doesn't happen over night. That means god would have had to use his magic to make it all happen, and fuck over the people like me who see that and say "yea, thats proof the universe isn't 10,000 years old.

- Last one, even though there is more. I was just thinking about this today. If the devil was real, I would believe this saying to be true: "the greates trick the devil ever played on us, was convincing you he doesn't exist." Why does he allow demons to posses people? Isn't that proving he exists, and shouldn't it make every one shit their pants and repent?

Sorry for the long blog, and if you made it this fare, PM me with your address, I will send you a cookie.

Uploaded 03/20/2011
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Tags: god