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Remember the Film Cats!



Lol cats, cheezburger, Caturday... as a cat lover, these things make me happy. Unfortunately, too many cuddly cats are left out in the cold, especially the ones that have made it to celebrity status. Sites like icanhaz do a great job of reminding us how special and cute kitties are, and it amazes me when cat antics climb the ranks in internet memes while on TV they get eaten, bitched at, and blown away.

So as a tribute, I give special attention to the poor cats of media too many lol enthusiasts fail to pay the proper credence to:





Sully, the poor doomed kitty from Willard

You might remember Willard as the story of the guy who commanded an army of rats to do his evil bidding. In the '03 remake, Willard (Crispin Glover) receives Sully as a nice gesture.

                           kitty-1.jpg

Willard, predictably nervous, tried to dissuade his acquaintance from giving him the cat, but it was too late. The cute little orange kitty happened to sniff a rat, so to speak, and sped off into the house, where we're treated to a horrific scene of the rats springing into action, chasing Sully all over the place, trying to kill him.

These rats gnawed the legs off a high trinket shelf in seconds flat, swarming around poor Sully as the scared kitty tried his best to escape. His only outlet being a hole in a heating grate, Sully jumps for it at the last second - only to be met by the master fat rat, sealing his doom. The only thing you can wonder is whether the scene itself is worse, or the fact it played out to a sad rendition of the Jackson Five's "Ben".










Meatball, the husky cat from Anger Management

Meatball was the model for David's (Adam Sandler) Husky Cat clothing line in the film Anger Management. He was a passive, timid little kitty that didn't seem to mind all the outfits Dave tried out on him, and you could never go through any scene without seeing him in a cute little sweater, hoodie, or beanie.

                                                          3655051_std-1.jpg


But as Dave likes to say, "His name is not fat shit cat". It seems poor little Meatball had to put up with some serious harassment and bullshit in the workplace, especially when in the habit of getting into the boss's food. Fortunately, once Dave starts to snap from his own stresses with anger management, it's a veritable buffet for this cutie.










Orion, the pampered pet from MIB

This little kitty loved his owner, who treated him like a king - thanks to the fact his owner was really an alien who strapped an entire universe to his collar. But cuz of a cockroach-derived enemy lifeform, his owner got killed, and the sad meow we were subjected to just tugs at the heartstrings.

              MenInBlackOrion.jpg  orionkitty.jpg

Being a good, sweet, cuddly little kitty that loves his owner and loses him is bad enough. But spending the remainder of the film ignoring the fact that the good, sweet, cuddly little kitty is stuck pattering around a morgue with no one to take him home is something else.








Tamala, of Tamala 2010: A Punk Cat in Space

I must add this kitty simply because she's too obscure and cute not to be. Her design loosely inspired by Sanrio's Hello Kitty, she comes from a surprisingly deep, mostly b&w anime feature about an incredibly cute kitty who leaves her human mother to find her birthplace.

                                                                             Tamala_2010__Punk_Cat_In_Space_by_Annadi

Unfortunately, only a few peeps in the west are able to really enjoy it, as it not only encompasses our cute kitty hero and other animal characters engaging in cannibalism, strange religion, death, and sex slavery, but it was never released with English subtitles.








Poor, POOR kitty from Boondock Saints

This one is just plain cruel. Here's this cute little kitty, just chillin' on the table, not doing anything or hurting anyone...

                                                             saintscat.jpg

...and along comes a few fucked-up douchebags to snuff out his life in less than a millisecond.



This is one of the many reasons I hate this film, along with the fact that mostly douchebags watch it.




So there ya have it, folks. Add a little Orion or a few Meatballs to your funny cats list, as I'd expect a film set would be as strenuous as a cardboard box or funnel could be. Exploit the cuteness, not the kitty!!
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