Screw You Guys, I am Omnist Now

Yes, I believe in all religions now, even though they contradict each other. Not only do I believe in all gods or no god but I can do so without even having to go to church. The only church I will be attending is Catholic mass and that is only because they serve wine and a snack at "halftime". After that I will go confess my sins while committing a sin or two.


This is the snack they give you. They look like the "old school groovers" I used to take in the early 90's in Miami. But they are food, sort of. These biscuits could use some jelly or chocolate icing or something.

Look what you get to drink out of ! I didn't think Lil John was Catholic. I guess you learn something new everyday. Catholic people get crunk, that is how they roll.

Now I am off to the synagogue. Now that I am jewish I can be rich. And wear a hat too. Just look at this fancy cap.

I ordered one with a dollar sign on it and one with a red sox emblem because the yankees suck. I can't wait until my Bar Mitsvah! I will be come a real man. My rabbi said I have to be 13 but I gave him a fifty and he said I could do what I want. I will tell you I would rather give my rabbi money than give my Priest what he wants. At these Bar Mitsvahs you get money and hookers and a nice dinner and then you become a man. God I love being jewish.

So gay marriage is legal now and what better place place to get married to your gay partner than at a muslum mosque. If you didn't know me and Hardasnails are getting married. I call him my snugglebear because he is neither hard nor a nail. I figured muslim people like gay people because the men wear dresses. I picked out a gown for Hardasnails. Look.
He will be wearing white but he is not a virgin. Unfortunately after I marry him I will have to have my uncle kill him because he has been a naughty boy. It is so tough being Muslim sometimes.

Since today is Christmas I will be celebrating this with the christain people. In this religion they believe in a God of presents. His name is Santa clause. Here is a photo me and hardasnails took earlier today.
Santa gave us matching speedos. I can't wait til we get home so I can make hardasnails live up to his name. Toodleloo and Merry xmas.
Stay tuned for my next religious adventure.
Uploaded 12/25/2012
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