Me: Is that Chilean sea bass?

Waiter: No sir, Chilean sea bass is endangered.

Me: I want Chilean sea bass, the last one if that's all you have. And while you're at it, serve it up on a plate made from the shell of a leatherback sea turtle, flatware carved from African elephant tusks with a side of mountain gorilla carpaccio.

Waiter: You're a sick bastard.

Me: No I'm a healthy bastard, now fetch me a polar bear pelt so I can fuck my girl until she bleeds...blood on white there's nothing like it.