Selling Shoes

I've had many a jobs in my 20 years on this earth. I've been working pretty much

religiously since I was 15. I started off at a t-shirt printing shop then a video store that

that converted into a sports store. For a year I was even the cart attendent at at Target

which basically translates into the "store bitch", cleaning poop in the middle of the

handicapped bathroom, taking out the trash that reeked of old coffee and puke.

I even worked 3rd shift demolition for a summer, which actually was fucking awesome.

Loss prevention, dealing with crack heads to fat pieces of shit hiding merchandise

under their rolls or whatever dirty oraface they could stow stuff away in. But, the absolute

job I've ever had has to be selling shoes (which I'm currently still doing). I can now say I

understand where Al Bundy was coming from all these years. I'm basically a slave to the

indecisiveness of the women population. In the war on shoes and shopaholics, I'm on

front lines. President Bush was lucky he only had to dodge two shoes. Every day I'm in

line of fire of a barrage of shoes in all different shapes in sizes from bitchy women of all

shapes and sizes and ethnicities. I never really considered myself suicidal until I got this

job. It's not my fault they dont make shoes to fit your big fucking foot or that 

that accommodate your hammer toes. I'm sorry that there's not an assembly line of

little Asian kids in back waiting for you to come in and tell them exactly how you like

your shoes to fit. If you cant read a fucking sale sign then it's not my fault that you have

pay an extra $5 than you thought you'd have to. You're fully grown stop being a cunt. I

never have trouble with male customers unless they're there with a female. And it's not

that I'm at war with women cause I love them all! I love tits, I love ass. Mmmmm. But

you wouldn't open up a meat shop in a cage full of lionesses unless they were paying

top dollar for what you got. Well thats what I'm doing. But it's a job and someones gotta

take on for the team of men all around the world. Fuck my life I need a new job.

Uploaded 06/22/2009
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