Hello, all. Today is (or was) Thanksgiving and someone blogged earlier that they were thankful that there were not many sappy holiday blogs. I am going to write one. It is a blog about being thankful.
About 10 years ago I was boning one of the internet fatties of which I often speak. Nothing emotional, just bumping uglies from timer to time. She got 'late' one month and called me and asked, "If I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive would you want to know?"
"I took a pregnancy test and it came up positive..." Her voice echoed in my head.
I was pretty sure she would abort as she had 2 older kids and was in nursing school but I played the game and said the right things, "It would be a bad idea to keep the baby but it's your choice."
All the while I was thinking, "Are you FUCKING OUT OF YOUR HEAD??? ANOTHER KID??? SERIOUSLY??? I don't want this for 18 years. FUCKING A!!!"
At about the final day of the first trimester BabyMomma informed me that she wanted to keep the child. I replied, "Are you FUCKING OUT OF YOUR HEAD??? ANOTHER KID??? SERIOUSLY??? I don't want this for 18 years. FUCKING A!!!"
She said I could sign away my rights but, asshole that I am, I am not a COMPLETE asshole and from that day to present my life has been committed to being the best father I could be.
I could write so much about my wonderful boy but I will just say that he is my life. He's not perfect. He is 9 years old and is not particularly good at sports. He is overweight. His handwriting sucks and he lacks my artistic talent, but... He is intelligent beyond his years and his humor already rivals mine.
I love him so much and remind myself every day that he is healthy and alive. He inspires me and keeps me from sinking into the abyss of complacency. I joke and kid a lot on here but I am serious about my son. I have fucked up so much in my life but I can't fuck up being a dad.
Something funny: He made a joke about Speedos tonight and I asked him where he heard of Speedos. His reply: "eBaum's World has some strange things..." Oops!
Happy thanksgiving, everyone! Peace.