Top
Advertisement

Sharing is caring!

 

And since sharing is caring, I will share with you a few things that are going on with me right now.

I have a giant, painful bruise on my ass.  I have to put my weight onto my left butt cheek when I sit because it hurts.  I am a total klutz and when working on getting everything that could become flying debris when Hanna hits in the morning, I ran my right ass cheek right into the side of our trash bin (it's square, ass height and has some sharp edges, I discovered).  Now it hurts.  And the husband keeps forgetting and seems to zone right in on it whenever he grabs my ass.  Ow.

 

There are things that you should never have to say, but you end up saying them when you have kids:

"Do NOT squeeze the bird's head!"

"We don't eat the chalk- you won't shit for a week!"

"You don't need to share your dinosaur with the birds."

"Peaches do NOT belong in your hair!"

"Are Cheerios better when you eat them off of the floor?"

"Don't throw the turtle!"

"Stop throwing my bra in the trash!"

"Get out of the toilet!"

 

 

Okay, I'm done for now.  I've been drinking (Goldschlagger) and wish to now go pass out in order to wake up tomorrow with Tropical Storm Hanna (she's not going to make it to hurricane because she can't seem to create the fucking eye- boo) pouring rain and blowing wind (she's at about 70mph max wind speed right now).  Should be fun.  I'm going to go ice my ass and pass out, thankyouverymuch!

 

 

 

7
Ratings
  • 776 Views
  • 20 Comments
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Flip
  • Pin It
Tags: drunk

20 Comments

  • Advertisement