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Sixth sense... Fashion?

Is the sixth sense the "fashion sense"?  If so, I definitely do not have it.  I am fashionably inept.  I have no sense of style.  No fashion sense.  I actually abbhor most things known to be "fashionable".  For example...

 

Pre-torn/Pre-stained jeans:  ...What the fuck?  Why would I pay $100 for a pair of jeans that are already ruined, jeans that I'd only be using to work out in my gardens or on the house in as opposed to going out in public?  If you want a pair of torn, stained jeans...  DO SOME FUCKING HARD WORK YOU PANSY ASSED MOTHER FUCKERS!!!! 

 

Going commando:  In a dress...   A SHORT dress...  Or skirt.  You fucking whores.  "I'm so not a slut!"  THEN STOP SHOWING YOUR "GOODIES" OFF TO EVERYONE WHEN YOU BEND OVER!!!  (As a side note, also learn that you're not supposed to bend over while in a dress/skirt.  You're supposed to stoop down.)

 

Velour Pants with Writing on the Ass:  Most women get offended when a guy just sits and stares at their ass or their chest, yet they have pants with words like "CUTIE" or "ANGEL" or "HOT" splashed right across the ass.  YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU DUMB BITCH!

 

Furry Boots/Uggs:  Goddamn, I hate those fucking things.  A friend of mine coined the term "squirrel boots" to describe them- why?  Because it looks like the chick stepped in a squirrel's ass and just kept on walking

 

Pointy Toed Shoes:  I can't stand them.  They look retarded.  They make your feet look about five sizes longer than they actually are.  What is the point of having a toe that extends five more inches out than your toes can actually go? 

 

Big Sunglasses:  They're ridiculous and hideous all at the same time.  They make you look like a bug and a retard all at the same time.  What is the deal with having sunglasses that cover half of your face?  You're not a fucking pilot!

 

And when the FUCK did it become "sexy" to wear shorts that barely go over the cheeks, and a midriff top, when you're at least 50 lbs overweight?  When did cellulite become sexy?  When did a muffin top become sexy?  When did showing off a belly that's not in the list bit taut become desireable???

 

You're most likely to see me in a pair of worn, but comfortable jeans- ones that I broke in myself.  I wear lots of comfortable t-shirts.  I love men's pajama pants.  It is a rare occasion that I will wear a dress, but when I do, it's usually either a blue floral sundress or my long strappless tie-dye dress.  My high heals have rounded or squared toes.  I wear a pair of cheap but comfortable tennis shoes 75% of the time.  I think mismatching socks is fun.  My hair is three different colours- white, green and blue.  I'm so pale that I'm clear (no shit, on the night vision setting on our camcorder, you can see every vein in my body).  I think tanning beds are melanomas that you pay for. 

 

Yes, I am fashionably inept.  And I'm happy with it.

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