Yesterday the damn machine wouldn't take my money. It just kept spitting it back out. I'm so thirsty right now! I pray to the soda God. "Oh great and powerful soda machine! Please accept my dollar today!" I put my dollar in the slot. It accepts it right away. Now I push the button to recieve my icy cold sweet relief. Nothing. I push it again. Still nothing. "Oh God! Please don't take my money!" I push the coin return button. Nothing. "No! No, no, no!! That's my last dollar!" I try it again. It's as if the machine refuses to even acknowledge that I put money in. "Come on! What am I supposed to do now?!" At this point I'm beginning to get very upset. "I'm dying here! Give me my damn drink or money...anything!!" I could just leave a note for the vendor and get my money back sometime within the next week, but what good is that going to do me right now?! I yell at the machine. "You f*cking piece of sh*t! Give me my damn drink!" I hit the machine. My hand hurts now. "Damn you! You stupid son of a b*tch!!" I start hitting random buttons as hard as I can, as if that's going to do any good. "Give me a drink damn it!!" Now I start kicking the machine. "You will give me what I want you malfunctioning little b*tch!" Now I'm hitting and kicking and screaming. I don't care that people are staring at 'the crazy lady'. I'm thirsty and I want my soda. "I gave you my last f*cking dollar! Now you're going to give me what I want or I will beat you down and take it from you!" I continue my rampage. "Damn you!!!!" I will not stop until I get what I came for. I'm out of breath and my hands and feet are killing me. I kick the machine one last time. It finally spits out my reward. "That's right," I say to onlookers. "The soda machine is my b*tch!!"