Some Advice for Those Who Care

Here is some simple advice for those of you who like to do drugs, commit crimes, are thinking of suicide or maybe all of the above all at once.  The choices are endless.

Suicide: If you are going to commit suicide and decide to use a shotgun, please put it in your mouth and pull the trigger.  Trust me it will do the job.  If you have T-rex arms and cannot reach the trigger, then use your big toe or make some sort of device that will aid you in the proper use of "suicide by shotgun."  Do not try and point a shotgun at your chest, only to flinch and end up shooting yourself in the shoulder.  Because then you will end up calling 911 asking for help, then paramedics and police will have to respond to your house and treat you and try to save the very thing you are trying to get rid of, your life.  NO we the police will not come over and finish the job for you, so do not even ask.  You see if you stick the barrel in your mouth and do it properly you will save a lot of tax payer money, by not having  you treated by paramedics and then taken to the hospital, only to have you bleed to death before you get there anyway.  Come on, use some common sense.

Drug Use: If you are a heroin addict and a mommy, please do not shoot up in front of your children.  If you absolutely must shoot up while your kids around, at least have the decency to call someone (preferbly not a another junkie) to come over and watch your kids for you.  If you have somebody there to watch your kids then you can lock yourself in the bathroom, sit in the tub and have at it.  We the police and paramedics prefer you to be in the tub, that way if you over dose and vomit all over yourself your family will have an easier time cleaning up the mess.  If you do not end over dosing then please clean up your diry filthy needles so your three year old son who has watched you shoot up since he has been in the womb, will not find your repulsive needles and stick himself in the arm.  We all know children are like sponges and copy everything we do.  Also hiding your drug paraphernalia will help keep CPS out of your home, because we all know how rotten they are when they try and take a heroin addict, methhead or crackhead's children away.

Crime: If you are thinking about becoming a criminal and your a pothead, then I would suggest you not smoke pot right before you decide to shoplift and then break into someone's car.  In fact if your a pothead you should stick to fraud type crimes if your smart enough.  You see it makes it real easy for old donut eating overweight cops to catch you during a foot pursuit.  Nothing is more fun than chasing a pothead who just got done smoking a bunch of weed.  He is winded, tired and thinks he can run faster than what he really can.  I mean come on, if you cannot out run me after running across a WalMart parking lot then you truly are pathetic.  At least potheads are not combative.  In fact they are grateful the chase is over.

I hope these little bits of information were helpful.

Uploaded 05/14/2010
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