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Stupid Cigarettes

By now, every smoker has encountered these......Fire Safe Cigarettes.  These wonderful cigarettes have two or three "speed bumps" that slow down the burning of the cigarette.  Well it would be nice if they slowed down the burning of the paper, but in all actuality it puts the cigarette out if you leave it for more than a few seconds.  Then when you go to relight the damn thing, it creates a huge flame and burn off you eyebrows.  If you have long hair, that will go up in flames too.  I've been smoking for 11 years and I have yet to fall asleep with a cigarette burning.  If you are so fucking wasted that you fall asleep with a cigarette in your hand, you deserve to have your house burn down.  While we are at it, lets ban fast food because it makes people so fat that they explode.

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