#1. The Spammers:

“If you do not repost this 10 times before midnight, Johnny Wantsyourblood will come to collect your virgin asshole.” Yeah. We’ve all heard this bullshit and through it all, I guarantee you that there will be one kid who stays up, worrying that this will actually happen. Ghosts aren’t coming to ravage your ass tonight. It’s just your brother.

“Nice blog! Come see my website. I’m a big, luscious woman…” Gross. Not only does this woman flaunt her obvious obesity, she advertises that she wants random men to come and stare at her barely dressed body. It’s true. Lack of self-esteem causes most girls to act like whores because they can’t find attention elsewhere and they know certain men will say anything to get a piece of ass. 

“Please don’t read this…you will be kissed on the nearest possible Friday by the love of
your life. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. However, if you don’t post this
comment you will die within 2 days…” Wow. If this is true, I can’t await to read the newspaper in a couple days! I can see the headlines now- “Mass of teenagers die after reading internet post.” The best part about this will be the movie that will come out in a couple years. Nothing beats watching deserving morons get slaughtered for the hell of it. I’d pay seven dollars to support the cause. Don’t lie. You would too.

PART 2 (#2) coming soon…