the eyes of fear

sometimes when I look around I see this look in people's eyes. They look like the world has just been kicking thier ass, like every moment is crushing them. sometimes it leaves, they won't show it if they think anyone is looking, but it's such a peculiar look of pain. I wonder where this pain comes from. I've had alot of pain in my life, but mye eyes rarely look that way. Only when I forget myself and I let illusions of the future get to me do I look that way. Sometimes I'm haunted by shadows of a reality that isn't there, or that has gone already. In those times fear can move me to nervous hateful actions. Every momet of anger or betrayal has been born of this fear. When I can cast off the idea that time is real, and remeber always that reality is what is here with me, then it cannot touch me. But it tries to break me away into fear, convince me it's here for my own good, that it is me in essence. but this cannot be. I can watch the thoughts of this enetity and say to myself that it just sounds foolish. these things it tries to tell me to fear, they are groundless. and even if they were true, there has never been anything I could not overcome before. The eyes of fear are like an entity onto itself, infecting my mind and feeding on the fear and hatred it can instill. This being is destroyed when I refuse to see any moment but this one. All the pain I see in the eyes of everyone else, they have one too. one just like mine, filling thier minds with fear until the hatred grows and thier trust and love die out. It's just a choice between fear and love.

Uploaded 08/08/2008
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