Ah, Neko. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 1, 2, 3, 4... haha
Neko, you are the most beautiful, talented woman on eBaum's World. You know that I would only say that you have an inflated ego in jest. After all, who can point to any evidence of such a thing?
Neko, I am still waiting for you to make a video of you dancing for my "Fukushima Mama" song. I'm sure that with you in the video, it would be an eBaum's World smash hit! After all, who is more beloved than you?
Your writing skill and brilliant observations put the rest of us bloggers to shame. Who can match your wonderful talent? Your kindness toward others is unparalleled and I'm sure you would never call anyone a derogatory name. Your musical talent is beyond compare. I'm sure you're a blessing to the video game industry. Your cat ears are such a turn on to every male on eBaum's World. As soon as they see your lovely face and the cute cat ears, they're driven to ecstasy. Your truth and sincerity are a radiant light, shining to the rest of the world. You are a lighthouse among the darkness. If you were gone, the rest of eBaum's World would crater into nothingness.
Ah, yes. You are the most loved blogger on eBaum's World and a verified Baumshell. No one would dare post a fake picture on their profile. It has never been done in the history of the Internet. Besides, I'm sure all eBaum's World Baumshells have to be verified by video before they can become one.
Oh, Neko, you are such a beauty. You are so beautiful that every man and every woman wants to see your face in the video chat. Everyone is such a big fan, it's a shame that you've disappointed them so. Both men and women are lusting in their hearts over you. If only they could hear your wonderful, melodic voice; however, I'm sure they would all be hypnotized the very instant they heard it. I know that you only refuse to go to the video chat for their own safety because you are such a thoughtful person. Perhaps if you used a program like Webcam Max and used a filter, they would be protected from the magnificence of your beauty? Your beauty is so powerful that it may just shine through the filter and hypnotize them anyway. Ah, if only they could get a peek of the real MrsNekoJeans.