Where exactly is the hope in anything? civilization is a mangled stagnant system of ruthless greedy dehumanizing mechanisms that strip everyone of thier individuality and make them soul dead load bearers for some narrow set of pricks born on top of the pile. We all work to death to bring comfort to some asshole who never earned it, was merely born to sit atop the pile or was ruthless or coniving enough to climb up there. and we are tormented with the illusion of the top, that we'll be up there with the owners someday. and we won't, we'll never be, our anger at this is merely impotent. The natural world isn't much better, being a cold efficient system of survival that designs us as a collective minded machine that piles up unwanted human mass. None of it is intricately or beautifully designed like one might think. even the beauty is really eficiency. Our minds are just bio machines, chemicals designed and released to compell us down a pathway and instill us with a terrible delusion that our feelings are noble and beautiful instead of the product of chemical levels and nueral firings. Where is the hope or the beauty and why is anyone foolish enough to think this could have been hand woven? Whatever being wove this universe hates us very much or is at least incompetant or indiferent. and not even in death may we rest if delusions are true. not even the end will be the end of suffering, but instead it will go on and on. someone tell me where the meaning lies? where there is something that is not a boxed off and lined copy of a copy.

(I fully expect at least half the comments will be telling me to kill myself, don't waste your time I do not wish to and you won't talk me into it. anyone who refers to me as emo is getting on my shit list, I am trying to be thought provoking not bitchy.)