The Typical Ebaumsworld Blogger - Part 5

The Typical Ebaumsworld Blogger - Part V:  Aftermath

  The aura of peace shined bright over the beautiful nation of BlogTopia, after the Great Thumbs-Down War.  Unfortunately, the aura was quickly tarnished by further political unrest within the grand community.  Now that the war was over, BlogTopia's denizens became... "enlightened."  They believed that it was now their turn to take the throne of BlogTopia, and to lead BlogTopia into a shining future. 

  Unfortunately, all this unrest only dampened the spirits of the peoples of BlogTopia, causing many unforeseen alliances, and destroying many old friendships. 

  One of the most noteworthy of alliances formed was that between Platypuss, the ex-emo-bitch-queen, who was previously str8jcktgurl's lover, and the new king of BlogTopia, White_Chocolate, defeater of the Thumbs-Down Fairies.  They shortly became married, and started feuding and fussing... much like any married couple would do.  Throughout the halls of the castle, one could hear the sound of Platypuss's bitching and moaning, and orgasming and she jerked off her penis.  This was usually followed by the cries of White_Chocolate saying "Stop chirping me bitch!."  And all the servants in the castle had a good laugh whenever he said this. 

  Also, wallboy, one of the head servants within the castle maintained his position, even after the Great Thumbs-Down War.  Tired of being caught in the background, he promptly left the castle and created several fake accounts to start his own spin-off show, hoping to settle in a new BlogTopia.  Unfortunately, these attempts ultimately failed... much like wallboy failed at life.  So wallboy came crawling back to the castle for his peaceful spot as a servant in BlogTopia castle.  Platypuss allowed him to come back on one condition:  That she'd be allowed to fuck him in the ass with her giant penis.  Wallboy graciously accepted.

  str8jcktgurl was thought to be a casualty after the Great Thumbs-Down War, but he/she quickly made it known that this was not the case.  One would think the townspeople of BlogTopia would have found this out simply by word of mouth.  But to be honest, once everyone saw an ugly-looking chick/guy with 2 penises walking around town, everyone knew who it was, before he/she even said anything.  And thus, str8jcktgurl was confined to living the life of a peasant in BlogTopia.  Distraught by the fact that his/her lover, Platypuss, had left him/her for another, str8jcktgurl married a local farmer's pig, in order to sexually satisfy it.  Afterall, sexually satisfied pigs make good eatin'!  mmm-mmm-mmmmm...

  Finally, with all the unrest building up within the BlogTopia's capital, the opportunity arose for a new evil presence to rise out of the east.  The Pooped One, long thought to be the perpetrator of the Great Thumbs-Down War, was swiftly acquitted when UgDork, some unknown guy from the slums of BlogTopia claimed responsibility for it.  Shortly thereafter, The Pooped One went into hiding.  Legend has it, that while in hiding, he became stronger, faster, better.  And that soon, he would amass a great army that would rise up and crush the forces of BlogTopia.  And yet...  others say, that The Pooped One was simply UgDork in disguise.

  Which is the truth?  Will Platypuss and White_Chocolate ever stop bickering and just have sex?  Will wallboy's prolapsed ass ever heal after being royally fucked by Platypuss?  Will str8jcktgurl storm the castle in an attempt to take back her crown as king/queen of BlogTopia?  Will I ever stop ending my blogs with a series of questions just like in this paragraph? 

  Find out next time, in the next episode of:  The Typical Ebaumsworld Blogger

Uploaded 05/25/2009
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